My Dearest King,
Who would have thought he would serve you, too. No, not a new crush or anything like that. But an old friend. And it turns out he serves you, too. I find that wonderful, Lord. I find it wonderful that You are giving me more friends who serve You. Thank You, dear King. Thank you, my Lord.
I just got back from the convention. And it reminded me that You have given me so many friends. Forgive me for being ungrateful in the past. Today, I just want to say, thank You, Lord. You love me even though I keep disappointing You. Thank You, Lord.
I remain sincerely Yours,
Your raven
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Conversations
Heart: Did you see what Micah posted, about taking care of me? You never really take care of me, do you?
Raven: What are you talking about? I protected you for thirty years.
Heart: I'd like to question the wisdom of that.
Raven: Too late. It doesn't matter now. No matter how hard I protected you, you're broken now.
Heart: And after I broke, you just left me. Like you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
Raven: ... I'm sorry. It was too painful. Nobody hurt you like that before.
Heart: Nobody loved me like that, either.
Raven: If I had known the price for that love was double that in heartache--
Heart: You would have protected me another thirty years?
Raven: ... I just... didn't know how to deal with it.
Heart: Until when are you going to keep ignoring me?
Raven: I thought I'd let you heal first. I thought I won't move you much until you're well.
Heart: I can function even if I'm broken, you know. Besides, you need me.
Raven: No, I don't.
Heart: Yes, you do.
Raven: You're too noisy. And whiny. Brain already talked to you. Tried reasoning with you. And Brain's arguments made sense, you know.
Raven: What are you talking about? I protected you for thirty years.
Heart: I'd like to question the wisdom of that.
Raven: Too late. It doesn't matter now. No matter how hard I protected you, you're broken now.
Heart: And after I broke, you just left me. Like you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
Raven: ... I'm sorry. It was too painful. Nobody hurt you like that before.
Heart: Nobody loved me like that, either.
Raven: If I had known the price for that love was double that in heartache--
Heart: You would have protected me another thirty years?
Raven: ... I just... didn't know how to deal with it.
Heart: Until when are you going to keep ignoring me?
Raven: I thought I'd let you heal first. I thought I won't move you much until you're well.
Heart: I can function even if I'm broken, you know. Besides, you need me.
Raven: No, I don't.
Heart: Yes, you do.
Raven: You're too noisy. And whiny. Brain already talked to you. Tried reasoning with you. And Brain's arguments made sense, you know.
Love Letter #1
My Dearest King, my Beloved Heavenly Father, my One and Only God, I love You.
Today was a wonderful day. It started out not so good, but You spoke to me. The Destroyer tried to stop Your messages from coming. But I had an inkling You had something for me, so I sought it and found it. And in the message, You were a little displeased with me. I could sense the frustration in the words of Your letter. I am sorry. You are always faithful to me. And here I am doubting You. Doubting that You would be there for me. Questioning Your motives and Your character, when in the past, You have shown me that You want nothing else but my good. I am sorry, my Lord. I must have hurt You. Please forgive me.
Ah, but You truly do love me, despite my mean ways. I got the Coffee Project You sent. Thank You. It couldn't have come at a better time. At first, I was worried that the countship You have entrusted me might not have enough income, or might have too much work. But You made sure we could handle the load, and You made sure we didn't starve. So thank You for showing up. And thank You for introducing me to McCann. You are the greatest!
Oh, and I also want to thank You for the Kitchen Project. They sent us payment already. Thank You, my King.
You truly are a faithful God. Oh, how I love Your love and dedication. May I learn to love like You.
Love,
Your raven
Today was a wonderful day. It started out not so good, but You spoke to me. The Destroyer tried to stop Your messages from coming. But I had an inkling You had something for me, so I sought it and found it. And in the message, You were a little displeased with me. I could sense the frustration in the words of Your letter. I am sorry. You are always faithful to me. And here I am doubting You. Doubting that You would be there for me. Questioning Your motives and Your character, when in the past, You have shown me that You want nothing else but my good. I am sorry, my Lord. I must have hurt You. Please forgive me.
Ah, but You truly do love me, despite my mean ways. I got the Coffee Project You sent. Thank You. It couldn't have come at a better time. At first, I was worried that the countship You have entrusted me might not have enough income, or might have too much work. But You made sure we could handle the load, and You made sure we didn't starve. So thank You for showing up. And thank You for introducing me to McCann. You are the greatest!
Oh, and I also want to thank You for the Kitchen Project. They sent us payment already. Thank You, my King.
You truly are a faithful God. Oh, how I love Your love and dedication. May I learn to love like You.
Love,
Your raven
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
An Issue of Faith
5 By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. 6And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
17 By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18 even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” 19 Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.
20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
21 By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
22 By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones.
23 By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.
24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27 By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.
29 By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days.
31 By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.
32 And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35 Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection.
-Hebrews 11:5-6
But, Lord, it's so hard! I don't understand. I don't see the point. I don't see what I'm going through to have any bearing to the coming of Your Kingdom. Why, Lord? I know I'm not supposed to ask, because I have to have faith in You, and trust that all things work together for those who serve You. But it's so hard, Lord. If You don't want him for me, why thrust me back in that place? Why cause me to hope again? I don't hate him, my King. I miss him, and that's why I don't want to see him. I don't understand, Lord. I know I need to have faith, but won't you send me something, anything, to let me know where I'm headed? What am I supposed to feel? I feel lost and angry, Lord.
20 By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
21 By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
22 By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones.
23 By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.
24 By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. 25 He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. 26 He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. 27 By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. 28 By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.
29 By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
30 By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days.
31 By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.
32 And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, 33 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, 34 quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. 35 Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection.
-Hebrews 11:17-32
"What more shall I say, little raven?"
"I'm sorry, my King. I have such little faith."
"I am not pleased."
"I know that. And I feel bad about it. It's just so hard, Lord. And You even said that there's a possibility that I won't see the fulfillment of the promise. How can my love story glorify You when it's non-existent and I'm dead? If You're referring to this relationship that just ended, how can it glorify You when it's failed. How can it even be called a love story when the love has already died? In his case, anyway, it seems like it's dead."
"Oh, you of little faith. Are you dead?"
"No."
"Are you absolutely sure it's over?"
"No! Why are You making me hope, Lord? I don't even know if I should hope for him back or not. I'm trying not to hope for him back. But it's so hard when he still keeps popping up on Facebook even after I removed him as a friend, and You keep throwing me back to school even after I resigned."
"My thoughts are higher than your thoughts. My ways are different from your ways."
"I know that. In my head, I know that. But the heart is treacherous and uncooperative."
"You asked Me what to do. I'm telling you what to do. Have faith. What more shall I say? What more do you want?"
"..."
"I have not been silent. You know that. I'm just not giving you the answers you want to hear. But I have answered you, many times over. Didn't I tell you that if you believe, you would see My glory? I thought you wanted to see My glory."
"I do, my King."
"Then what are you waiting for? Why are you hesitating? I already told you how."
"It's so hard, Lord."
"It's very simple, little raven. Just believe. Have faith. Trust Me."
"..."
"Let go."
"I'll fall."
"Will you just trust Me?"
"You allowed him to break my heart."
"Since when has pain stopped you? It never did, why is it stopping you now?"
"The pain is different this time. It's unfamiliar. It's too close. It's inside. It can't be shut off. Besides, for dreams, I can wish with all my heart. People have their own wills and fears and selfishness. I'm afraid to hope wholeheartedly."
"You've been disappointed with dreams before. You were never afraid. Why would you fear being disappointed by people? It's no different."
"... Well, if You put it that way..."
"Have faith, raven. I know it feels good to hold on to the anger. It feels good to fight. But in this case, I need you to let go."
"Of him?"
"Of everything. Of the hurt. Of the things you don't understand. Of what is to come. Of control. You need to let go of control. You know what happens to you morally when you hold tight to control."
"Yes." *sulk
"Am I your King?"
"... Yes."
"Am I your King?"
"Yes, Lord!"
"Then do what I say."
"... Yes, Lord."
"What are you to do?"
"Have faith. Let go."
"Good. You owe Me, little raven." *wink "For offending Me. You owe Me love letters."
"Love letters?"
"Yes. 365 of them."
"Yes, my King. I give them wholeheartedly."
"Good."
"... Thank you, my King. Here is my heart again. It is not only broken. It's also a little treacherous. But it's all I have. Will You take it, Lord?"
"Always."
Influence of Good Women
 |
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It has been said that behind every great man is a good woman. We are the support. We are the strength behind. We are the tough half that holds things together even when everything seems on the verge of collapse. But then if we look at stories, we are the cause of wars. Families are destroyed because of us. Man fell because we took a bite of the forbidden.
Literature and history have shown us how powerful women could be. And how dangerous we are without the proper foundations. Take care, woman. You don't know your power.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Fire Seal
I seal you, monster of fire.
Close your mouth and shut your eyes.
I want not whips as my tongue,
Nor flaming knives in my gaze.
Though you seek to devour,
And you seek to consume,
I defy you.
I refuse you.
Be still.
You are a tempting creature,
Who fills me with the feel of power.
As you pour your anger into me,
I feel strengthened in your hate.
But I have decided, monster of fire.
I have chosen to follow the King.
And though I find myself in your jaws at times,
I have made a choice to seal you.
When you possess me, my people suffer.
When I yield to you, my King weeps.
You bring nothing but destruction.
You instill nothing but fear.
So begone, monster of fire.
Close your mouth and shut your eyes.
I want not the dark power you offer,
Nor the bitter strength in your heart.
For my choice is to love.
And my purpose is for peace.
So let the rains fall.
Let the rains fall.
Be still.
Close your mouth and shut your eyes.
I want not whips as my tongue,
Nor flaming knives in my gaze.
Though you seek to devour,
And you seek to consume,
I defy you.
I refuse you.
Be still.
You are a tempting creature,
Who fills me with the feel of power.
As you pour your anger into me,
I feel strengthened in your hate.
But I have decided, monster of fire.
I have chosen to follow the King.
And though I find myself in your jaws at times,
I have made a choice to seal you.
When you possess me, my people suffer.
When I yield to you, my King weeps.
You bring nothing but destruction.
You instill nothing but fear.
So begone, monster of fire.
Close your mouth and shut your eyes.
I want not the dark power you offer,
Nor the bitter strength in your heart.
For my choice is to love.
And my purpose is for peace.
So let the rains fall.
Let the rains fall.
Be still.
Spirit of Darkness
My King, forgive me. The spirit of darkness came over me. Yesterday I disrespected my steward. And he felt really bad. Last night, I couldn't sleep well, thinking of the man who had broken me. And today, I hurt my steward again. My arguments were valid, but the way I said them were not. I used the countess' whip-like tongue and gave my steward a beating. The good thing is, my steward is an honest man, and told me that I had hurt him, that I had disrespected him. I am sorry, my King. This is not how You wanted me to treat the people You have entrusted to me. I have sinned, my King, against You and against my people. Lord, I am sorry. I thought I had defeated the monster of fire. But here I am being devoured by it again. In my story, I am the villain, the repentant traitor. Forgive me, my King. And teach me to love like You.
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