He Will Make Straight Your Paths

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV)

Lord,

I have been taking things into my own hands again. This thing with him, I have been trying to fix on my own, using my own powers. Lord, I'm sorry. Here. I relinquish control. It's not like I was ever in control anyway. I got so tired, Lord. I slept ten hours! But fine, Lord, if You wish to take him away from me and Komikasi, do so. I relinquish my hold.

Do Not Return to Your Vomit

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1 NIV)

Dear Lord,

It was also taught in church last Sunday not to return to one's own vomit. You have set me free, and yet sometimes I find myself wanting to return to the life I had already left behind. There's something comfortable about it. It's not that I'm afraid to leave it, but I don't know what to replace it with.

Lord, today is the first day of work for the year. Bless the day, Lord. Bless my people and all our clients and suppliers. Thank you for the past year. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

They are New Every Morning

Because of the Lord ’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22, 23 NIV)

This was the same verse that was spoken in church last Sunday. And now it has come up in this morning's devotional, too.The Lord is compassionate. His compassions are new every morning. The Lord is faithful. His compassions will never fail.

Dear Lord,

Happy New Year! You are a loving and compassionate God. I know that in whatever I'm going through, You will be there, and You will save me because You are a kind and loving God who has compassion for His people. Every morning, Your love is renewed. Father, I want to emulate You. Renew my love for the people You have placed around me every morning. Teach me to be compassionate towards Your creations. I am human, and my love and compassion toward people fail all the time. But You are my Heavenly Father. You, I will follow.

Grace

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Lord, I am weak. I have no strength. I am afraid. I feel evil and ignorant. I feel like they don't understand me or my apprehensions. They see no problem. I am freaking out for reasons they cannot understand. "Don't you want to be loved?" I don't know what to do. I don't even know what exactly to pray for. I don't have any explanation for my fears. But I am afraid of loss. I am afraid of my inadequacies and how it destroys and hurts even if that is not my intention. Because he's the last person person I'd like to hurt.

I am weak, Lord. I am helpless. I have no power to do anything. Because whatever I do will hurt him. I am sad and alone, he is hurt. I am happy and with someone, he is hurt. I hide that I've gone out with someone, he is hurt. I let him know things, he is hurt. I hide things from him, he is hurt. I treat him as a comrade, he is hurt. I ignore him, he is hurt. I get close to him, he is hurt. Lord, he is a good man, undeserving of this torment that he is in. His courage has to be rewarded, not punished. But I can do nothing because he's in turmoil because of me! Evil, ignorant, unkind me.

Be kind to him, Lord. Heal his broken heart. Take him into Your arms and tell him it will be okay. Tell him You will reward his courage. Tell him he need not encase his heart in ice. Tell him he need not wear that armor of pain. Tell him that everything will be fine. Tell him that he is loved, because he doesn't hear me. Give him a kind sensible woman, Lord. One who would appreciate his gifts and take very good care of his heart.

And Lord, give me Your grace. For again, I feel lost and adrift with my bruised and battered heart. Dark. Cold. Unbeating.

How God Answers Whining

The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord , for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord , but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.” (1 Kings 19:11, 13-18 NIV)

Sometimes, especially when we're whining, God will make us do things first. Then after the instructions have been followed, that is when you see the big picture.

Utter Darkness

Some sat in darkness, in utter darkness, prisoners suffering in iron chains, because they rebelled against God’s commands and despised the plans of the Most High. So he subjected them to bitter labor; they stumbled, and there was no one to help. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron. (Psalm 107:10-16 NIV)

Fly

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91:4 NIV)