Christ-like Qualities

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Studying Jesus, I see the attitude You want me to have: He holds no grudges. He forgives offenses, no matter how great. And He's also shown me how it is necessary to just get away from it all every now and then to rest and to connect with You. Lord, I didn't use to hold grudges. Oh, Lord, what had happened? Now, his very presence darkens my day. And we used to be very good friends. Lord, have I failed in how I was supposed to handle this? Forgive me. Protect him as he leaves. Give him a job you'd like him to have. And may the blow not be too hard on my people. Maybe it's just time we parted.

Lord, bless the week. This is going to be a very busy week. I pray that our clients pay this week. Lord, take off the grudges, the bitterness and the worrying from my heart. Teach it to trust You. Lord, I want to be a caring, thoughtful, pleasant person. I want to be kind. I want to smile. Circumstances may change and my happiness may be there or not, but I'd like to have an immovable peace and an undying joy in my heart. Lord, You've taken away the exclusivity in my family. You've taken away the man I loved. And now, you've taken away my dreams. And my dreams were basically what I lived for when I was growing up. But I know You're teaching me that even without all these, I'm fine because You're there. Lord, I couldn't help but feel afraid and lost. Lord, reveal Yourself to me. Call me to You. Make me smile.

Lord, today is the last day of my fast. I'm not even sure I'm doing this properly. But I just really want to get closer to You, to hear from You. Lord, once again, I pledge my allegiance to You. My heart, I place again at Your feet. My life, I place in Your hands. Lead me, Lord. Show me where to go. Teach me what to do. I hold on to Your promise that You will show me what is best and direct me where I should go. Lord, I pray for breakthroughs. I pray for something awesome, because You are an awesome God.

Amen.

Write On My Heart

In the case of a will, it is necessary to prove the death of the one who made it, because a will is in force only when somebody has died; it never takes effect while the one who made it is living. This is why even the first covenant was not put into effect without blood. (Hebrews 9:16-18 NIV)

“This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.” (Hebrews 10:16 NIV)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for shedding Your innocent blood to save and redeem us once and for all. Lord, I hold on to Your covenant. You will put Your laws in my heart, and write them on my mind. You will perfect that which concerns me. I have faith. I hold on to that. Lord, when I found out my friend was off to see him, I felt a bit jealous. I miss him a bit, and I'd really like to see him. But Lord, I close my eyes and turn to You. Ah, I do like him, dear God. He is a good man. He works hard. Strong. He knows what he wants and is not easily deterred. A geek. We could talk for hours. He has the makings of a protector and a good provider. He works in the field he wants and is very good at what he does. I admire him so.

But You, dear God, You sent Your Son. And Jesus not just protected me but died so I could turn to You like this despite my sins. I am not my own. My heart belongs to You. Therefore, Lord, if he's not the one you've chosen for me, I will close my eyes. Oh, I really do like him, Lord. And I wish I wish I wish that You would redeem him and break his family's curse and will him for me. But You are my God. Your Will be done. I will not do anything. I will wait for You. I really do wish he'd reach out to me. Send me a message or something. But You, Lord, are my God. To You do I revert. You, I will follow. I will close my eyes.

Transform my mind, Lord. Write on my heart.

This I pray. I await more words from You, O God. Speak to me, Lord. Instruct me. Lead me. Show me who You are.

Amen.

Direct Me

This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. (Isaiah 48:17 NIV)

“Then he said: ‘The God of our ancestors has chosen you to know his will and to see the Righteous One and to hear words from his mouth. You will be his witness to all people of what you have seen and heard. And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name.’ (Acts 22:14-16 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I need to hear You. I will hold on to Your promise. You said You teach me what is best for me, and direct me in the way I should go. Present tense, Lord. You do that in the present and not in the future. Lord, I ask what I was supposed to do when I broke up, You said, "Praise The Lord." My company is not making money and I don't know what to do. I ask You what I should do and You tell me, "Rejoice in every circumstance." Lord, my heart is stubborn. My mindset is wrong. I want to praise You and rejoice in every circumstance. But my heart will not cooperate. Lord, Lord, please be with me and help me to follow what You want me to do. This is the day You have made, Lord. I want to rejoice and be glad in it. I don't want to worry. I really need You, Lord. I want to smile and be happy and stop complaining. Please fill me with Your joy and Your peace. And I will hold on to Your promise, Lord, that You will teach me what is best. You will direct me where I should go.

Amen.

Trials are a Joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:2-6 NIV)

Dear God,

I've heard this before, but this is not an easy thing to do at all! Consider it pure joy that I face trials of many kinds? Lord! But I hear You, Dear God. I will let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete. I do ask You for wisdom, Lord. I am a fool. I am proud and I rely on my own powers. But this time, Lord, I am powerless. I have only You. Thank You for giving me a wonderful father. Please bless him for always helping me with my finances, even at the expense of his own finances. Lord, I don't want to be a burden to my family anymore. And Lord, while this is a trial, use it, Lord, to lead me into the right direction. If I am ready, Lord, let me create for You now. Open doors for us, Lord. I don't want to create for something I don't believe in anymore. Forgive me for my lack of faith. But I trust You, my God, that You will lead me to You. That these trials are nothing more than that: trials. And You will mold me into the kind of person You wish me to be.

How to Study the Bible

I took a workshop on how to study the Bible at our church, Victory Fort. and today, we talked about guidelines when studying. We talked about context and how we sometimes take some verses out of context. Here's one:

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38 NIV)

We usually take this verse to talk about tithing and generosity. But if we look at the verse before that,

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:37, 38 NIV)

We can see that this verse actually talks about forgiveness and not giving money. How apt when taken in context to my life right now. Lord, soften my heart. Teach it to forgive. I want to give forgiveness freely, just as You would have me.

Ah, Lord. I feel so at peace when studying Your Word. But I need to go back into the world. I need to go back to where the fire demon in my heart is strong, and I am weak against it. Be with me, my God. And help me forgive. Help me forgive.

Of Men Past

God, O, God,

My Protector, my Redeemer, my Lord. To You be glory and honor forever. You are the Creator of the world, the Author of my life. Nothing is hidden from You. You protect those who are Yours.

I am Yours, am I not? O Lord, why is the spirit of sadness coming over me? I met a man who is dear to me. He is a sweet sweet man. Very decent. Very kind. He was the first man I ever really went out with. And praise be to You, Lord, that my first man was a kind and decent one. But I was young then, and he was ready to settle down. And we drifted apart before we even officially became an item. He is married now to a nice girl, and I am very happy for him.

He gave me a book he had written. I had distanced myself from that world after my first boyfriend had broken my heart. The world of stories was a world of chivalry and true love to me. And when we broke up, I felt that that world turned out not to be true, and that true love was nothing but a wish that can never be found in the real world. Of course, circumstance has taught me that true love does exist but that what we think as true love is really not love but a feeling we associate with love. And that true love is not romantic. On the contrary, it is that thing that keeps us going even when the feeling is gone.

I read the book and I found I had missed this world, this world where anything can happen. Where people were chivalrous. Where love was true. And the thing about stories is you can get a glimpse of the heart of the writer from the text. And when he talked about an absence of a formal relationship with a particular girl, and tears threatening to burst when he saw the girl with another guy, I suddenly couldn't help but think if I had not hurt him back when we parted years ago.

He is still kind and decent now. I saw no bitterness in him when I met him again. We didn't hang out anymore. He was married now. It wouldn't be proper. And when we'd have lunch, he would make sure we had a third person with us.

I liked that. I appreciated that. It made me respect him more. It made me feel protected.

And it made me cry that after this man, what seemed to follow in my life was a series of broken guys.

I can't say I regret that I didn't pursue a relationship with this man. If I had back then, I would probably just hurt him. I was still selfish and self-centered back when I met him (I still am but I think it has been greatly turned down now). I can't say I regret falling in love with the broken and hurting guy who became my first boyfriend because that taught me a lot about men, relationships and myself. And it sent me crawling to my God. So I can't say I regret it. But I just felt sad.

Fight the Good Fight

We have just started an equipping series in church on how to study the Bible. And we studied 2 Timothy 4, and this is what I gathered from my studying:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
2 Timothy 4:7-8

I have fought the good fight
The good fight. The most basic of our fights. The battle between good and evil. The good fight of faith. We are in a battle, aren't we? We knew that. As children, we knew the most basic of our fights. But as we grew older, the situations become more complex. And our desires often grey out what we used to see as wrong.

I have finished the race
Life. We have hat rat races, running a business, running from hurts. We run life. But why call it a race? Why the competitive element to it? Urgency. That is why. We never really know how much more time we have. But this is a race and there is an urgency to do the things God has called us to do.

I have kept the faith
Faith can dwindle. Faith can drop. But the idea is to sustain the faith until the end.

The crown of righteousness
What is righteousness? It's basically fulfilling our end of the bargain in our relationship with God. And it doesn't say here that we will achieve righteousness. Rather, it will be crowned us. Do what needs to be done, and at the end of it, He will make us worthy.

Overall take-home
Press on. I may be faltering, and I may want to give up with all the failures I have as a Christian. But we have to press on. Do what needs to be done, and do it with a sense of urgency. And at the end of it all, God will make you worthy of the relationship with Him.