Picking Myself Up

My King,

Forgive me. You have not remained silent in my darkness. Only, I did not want to acknowledge it because Your answers were not the answers to my questions. But even so, they are the answers I need. I just didn't want to hear them. I just didn't want to acknowledge them at the time because what I wanted was comfort and not instruction. You are my God. Do as You please. And I will do as You have commanded. Rejoice, You said. For that is Your will. And again, today, You say it. Rejoice. With my pledge to serve You comes the crucifixion of the flesh, You said. Choose the spirit over the flesh, You said. But Lord, You know how difficult this is for me. My Lord, I asked You to teach me how to be happy, and You tell me to be happy. Rejoice. Lord...

Calm the raging monster within me. It is seeking to devour again.


Your raven