Remain in Me

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:4 NIV)

Lord, I have been far away from You these past few days. But please, Lord, come back to me. Forgive me. Let me draw near to You again. Speak to me. I haven't heard You recently. But today, You told me to remain in You. That You created me in Your image. 

Who are You, Lord? You are savior. You are redeemer. You are different to each person because of what they need. But it doesn't change that You are my God. You are my King who I will follow. You are creator. Does that mean I can create, too? I used to create a lot in the past. I used to create for the joy of it. But I hardly do that anymore. You are the binder of broken hearts. Can I participate in that? But a part of me feels that I'm not yet credible. My only one failed. But I do feel like I passed that test even though it ended. What does it mean to be in Your image, Lord?

Go Out and Frolic

But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves. (Malachi 4:2 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for giving me money today to pay my people and the rent. Dear Lord, please save me. I still need about half a million to pay them for Friday and for their separation pay. And there's still the bills, Lord. The bills haven't finished yet. Lord, please help me. I feel a little overwhelmed. And my heart feels a little broken. But Lord, You said we would go out there and frolic like well-fed calves. Lord, I put my trust and hope in You. In my head there is a whispering, telling me that You won't help me because this is my fault, and I have to live with the consequences of my actions. I know that I do, Lord, but You also said You will not leave me or desert me. That You will be with me every step of the way. Lord, where are You? I seek You. I thank You for giving me the check today. That will cover last January's payroll. But what of Friday, Lord? Lord, let Your presence be known. Show me that I'm not alone.

Forgive me for my lack of faith. I know I should trust You more, without needing to see or feel. But I am merely a human, Lord, with a broken heart and a darkness about me. I cannot get out oft his alone. I cannot heal my own heart, my God.

Be with me, Lord, I resolve to rejoice and be glad in this day You have made.

I pray this in the mighty name of Your Son, Jesus. Amen.

Reverent Submission

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered (Hebrews 5:7, 8 NIV)

Dear Father,

You heard the prayers of Jesus because He came to You in reverent submission. I humbly come before You now, Lord. Dear God in heaven, Holy is Your Name. May Your Kingdom come and may Your will be done. Forgive me my sins for I am weak. Forgive me my indecisions and my lack of faith. Lord, I come before You, and implore You, Lord, please help me. I really need money to pay my employees. Just two pay periods and separation pay to go, Lord. Please, Lord, last stretch, don't leave me. You've saved me before. You've always saved me before. Don't leave me now. I don't know where to get what I'll pay them on Friday. We don't even know if MRM will really pay tomorrow. But I pray, I hope, and fervently pray, Lord, move their hearts. Let them look kindly on us and release the Momentum check na tomorrow, that my employees will be paid already. Their salary is two weeks late. Lord, be kind to my boys. Please allow me to pay for their salaries already. Lord, I come humbly before You. you are a great God and I am a sinner. But I have no one else to turn to, my God. Lord, please. Please be kind. Please turn to me and see my suffering. Lord, please. Please be kind to my people. Please let me pay them already. Please release the Momentum check tomorrow that I may pay them and the rent. And I don't know how, Lord, but I need Your miracle, Lord, for Friday. I have no idea where to find the money to pay my people for their last payroll and separation pay. There is also the matter with the building, Lord. They won't allow us to pre-terminate. Or rather, if we do, they will get payment for the rest of the months, Lord. Lord, help me. I'm going to try to get in touch with their president, Lord. Be with me. And how about Rizza, Lord?

Lord God, our Father, I am here before You, today. Please give me strength to face the week. And I need Your help, my God. With finding the finances, with talking to Jack, with talking to the building president. Lord, be with me, and show favor upon me. Shower me with Your blessings and please don't leave me to face the consequences of my actions alone. I know it is my fault. But Father, please, help me. Save me as You've always saved me. Please, Lord, don't leave me. Give me the wisdom to know what to do. To find ways to find the money that I need. To speak the right words to the people I need to meet.

This I pray, Lord, in Your Son's mighty name. Amen.

Do Not Be Anxious

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7 NIV)

Dear Lord,

You've told me this twice today. And I know You've been telling me this since before. That I don't need to be anxious about anything. Thank You, Lord, that Komikasi lasted this long. Thank You for the more than 3 years with my people. Thank You that You have made them kind and understanding employees. And please take care of them. May they find jobs quickly, and may they find their new workplaces enjoyable. I also thank You for the opportunities and for the friends and family who encourage me and try to save me, and at the very least (but oh so very welcome) are sympathetic to my closing down. Thank You that my GDAP friends are taking in some of my guys. Thank You for Peter Cauton, and James Pacaba, and everyone else You've introduced to me. Lord, I pray that there will be a good opportunity with James later. I also pray for JustCoffee, Lord. That You will bless it, if You will it, that it can help people. Thank You for letting me meet Brian. Though I don't know how it could happen, save him, my Lord. And I pray for Misha. Thank You for letting me have him as a friend. And I pray for him, for direction for him. I also pray for Martin and Andro. I pray that You call them to You and heal them. Thank You for Mom, Dad and my siblings. I couldn't ask for a more supportive family.

Please bless the day, Lord. And I pray, Lord, please help me with my financial obligations. Be kind to my people, Lord. Help me to be able to pay them soon.

Thank You, again, Lord, for blessing me with Komikasi for this long. In Jesus' Name, this I pray. Amen.

Wholeness

The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I'm at it again, trying to go back to a life I had already left. On the one hand, I want to follow You, and follow what You said I should do. But the thought that I can make money doing something that is not pleasing to You is still pulling me. And that leads to me going back to my former life. You have healed me, but I keep trying to go back. Forgive me. Forgive me, Lord. My flesh is weak. I implore You, my God, show me something of higher value, that I may forever leave the life I have left behind. Forgive me, Lord. I know I am only destroying my own self. But what can I do? What should I do? Actually, I know what I need to do. But please, Lord, give me the self-control. And show me a life of higher value that I may see it and long for it.

Amen.

Prisoner of Christ

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV)

As one who has decided to follow Christ, I need to practice humility. I think the disappointments I feel are caused by my pride. I see myself highly, someone good at what she does, and beautiful. And I think that I deserve the best in life, and the best people. I am not humble at all, nor am I gentle. At the back of my mind, I don't want to work for Daddy because it isn't my show. How can you be known when you're just running an accounting firm? Also, I have to submit to a higher authority if I work for Dad. If I am humble, I should see this as a good opportunity to rest. I should put my Dad's and my family's finances over my need for freedom. I have to be gentle, not abrasive. I have to be patient, and forbearing. I am so impatient with my mother. But I don't want to be. I know my mom has certain reactions that irk me. But my reactions are not so good, either. Lord, please, help me be kind to my mom. I want a very good relationship with my mom.

Thank You, Lord, for the revelations. Please infuse me with Your wisdom and strength so that I may have the power to change my life.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

More Wisdom

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17, 18 NIV)

Lord,

Is it selfish ambition that drives me to need to fly? Why do I need to escape? What am I escaping from? Lord, I really need to make those predecisions soon. I'm still so affected when my mother and brother shoot me down. I love them, but I don't know why they shoot me down. I don't think they just want me to feel bad. But Pat always sees the problems, and Mom so easily rejects anything she doesn't want with no regard to my feelings. Sometimes, her reasons are not even valid. She just prefers something else.

I should not let these affect me. These are their opinions and people are entitled to them. I shouldn't keep exploding.

Also, Lord, today is when I tell my boys. Give me the wisdom to say this properly, with the compassion and kindness to not make it too hard on them.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Wisdom

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5 NIV)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5, 6 NIV)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)

Dear Lord,

My God and my Protector, may Your Kingdom Come and may Your will be done. May the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love. Show me the way I should go.

Lord, today, I woke up to the word Wisdom. Lord, I pray, grant me wisdom. I am about to close my studio. What do You wish me to do instead? Martin is also texting very frequently now. How do You want me to proceed? I would like to live in a way that is pleasing to You. But I have lost my way, Lord. I found out about WWOOF last night and Workaway. I would like to try them out. But what do You say about it, Lord? I do still have responsibilities here. And I actually don't have an idea how to pay for all the debts yet. But I want to pay off all the debts and live a life that displays the higher values. Lord, I want to live a life that You would be happy with. I stumbled again last night. In my actions and in my words. Forgive me. But I will try again. With You as my strength, I know I will get there. For I know You will complete what You started in me. I know You've tarted renewing my mind and taking off certain desires. It's taking a while, but love is patient and You love me so I know You won't give up on me. And therefore, I do not doubt that You will enlighten me and give me wisdom and make clear to me what You wish me to do, where You wish me to go.

Thank You for today, and thank You for the people who love me. Call Martin and Andro to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Value-based World

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:24-34 NIV)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:34 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for letting me meet Pastor Joey. His insights are very valuable. He said we live in a values-based world, and the only way to win people over is to create things of higher value.

Lord, I want to be righteous in Your eyes. How do I seek first Your kingdom? Yes, You mentioned, no sexual immorality, no hint of impurity. You said to rejoice, to be the light of the world. My finances, pleasure, excellence, my relationships, my health, and my relationship with You all have to be in order. This is how to create higher value. Oh, Lord, You are my God, and the One seeking my heart that I didn't even see. I give my heart to You. I will do service for You. I will not make those books and I will not go back to that world. I will turn down the animation project. I will rejoice despite my company closing. I will get my finances in order somehow. I will go on a quest to find what pleases me. I will make sure all I do is excellent. I will start exercising. And Lord, I will do all these because I love You.

Fill me and cover me with Your unfailing Love. Lead me. Be with me. And make me the person You wish me to be.

Lord, Martin seems really serious about me. Please don't let me break his heart. If You allow this, Lord, then let it proceed. Otherwise, save me from another heartbreak, please.

All this I pray, everything I lift to You. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Salvation

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38 NIV)

"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, To God’s holy people in Colossae, the faithful brothers and sisters in Christ: Grace and peace to you from God our Father. We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace." (Colossians 1:1-6 NIV)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I want to be righteous in Your sight. My fear and anxiety is sin against You, for that shows my lack of faith and trust in You. I offer You my heart and my life once more, Lord. And I pray that You spark joy in me so that I may rejoice in every and any circumstance, and see the trials as the gifts that they are.

Lord, I pray for the salvation of Andro and Martin and all the men who come to me. Andro is a good man with a strong sense of justice. His family needs You, Lord. May his sister's trials bring her to You, Lord. And I don't know what could possibly prompt Andro to seek You, but You are a God of miracles and great things. Please save the man. Whether You will him for me or not, please save this man who I look up to. Save also Martin. I know Tita Vilmy would like him to change religion. But I think religion doesn't matter. What matters is he know You, he seeks You, and he will grow in You. He is a good man, Lord. Save him and call him to You. Let his relationship with You be strong.

I pray for the man You choose for me. Lord, I pray, I submit to Your will. I desire someone for the traits he possess. But Lord, if he isn't the one for me, then Your will be done. Give me the one You choose. I need someone I am attracted to intellectually and romantically. I need someone financially capable. I need someone I can admire. But most of all, Lord, I need someone with Your blessing. Because I wish for a good family, Lord. A happy, loving and caring family intoxicated with love and solid in our foundation and belief in You. I lift to You my choice of a life partner. You know who is best. Protect me and bless me in this aspect of life, Lord. I lift my heart to You. Let me know, Lord, let me know clearly who You want for me. And whoever You choose, I will love and build up and encourage.

I haven't been a very good testimony. I mean, even in front of my GDAP peers! I'm not the prosperous, kind, gentle and principled Christian I'd like to be. Lord, I want to be a good testimony. I need to change my mindset and stop complaining and making excuses. Give me strength. Give me a buddy to help me change. 

I also pray, Lord, for guidance. Is it time to close my company? Are the trials an itch on the nose to force me to stretch? Or have I been swallowed? Have I been enslaved by payroll? I am, Lord. That much I know, I am a slave to payroll and just keeping my company afloat. I pray for enlightenment. I want to change the world, Lord, and make it a better place. I don't want to just keep making apps for brands. I want to have a point in what I do. And that's the problem with Komikasi right now. Lord, guide me. Tell me what to do. Is it right that I'm breaking them off? Is it alright if I let us join Ideaspace?

Lord, break me free. I do not want to be a slave to money. Set me free, Lord. But give me wisdom. May I not dissolve Komikasi prematurely. Talk to me, Lord. I know You sent me Tita Vilmy for a reason. To remind me of You. To remind me to pray for the salvation of people, especially those dear to me. And to pray for Your will in my choice of a husband. And also to remind me that it's not my choice, it's Yours because my heart is no longer mine but Yours. Give it to who You choose, Lord. I have lifted my heart to You. Same goes for my company. I have offered it to You three years ago. And three years ago, You told me to stay. What about now, Lord? Should I try to make Komikasi work? I know it in my heart, Lord, that I need to change Komikasi somehow. Because it is not in Your will that I be a slave to money. And I don't want to be. If I reach inside me to see what I need to do, I actually don't know what to do. If I let go of even half of my people, my overhead will decrease by about 25%. Half of my overhead goes to payroll. A quarter goes to rent and other bills. And the last quarter goes to loans.

Okay, letting go of my people is not going to significantly decrease my need. Shutting down the office will take away 75%. The other quarter needs to be paid off whether Komikasi exists or not. But I'm tied with rent until June, Internet for the next two years but I think we can pre-terminate, and we're maintaining a system until I think August. I think I feel helpless because I've deviated too much. We need to go back to making games, even outsource. Then in that case, we need to reach out to the companies abroad.

Be with me, my God. Give me wisdom and strength and love. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Shaken

"Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures forever; their horn will be lifted high in honor." (Psalm 112:6-9 NIV)

Lord,

I am so not ready. My heart is not ready for marriage. My heart is not ready for leadership. I am afraid and anxious about my finances again. I am shaken, Lord. And I know that is sin against You. Where is my faith? You have saved me before but here I am, unsure if You will save me this time. I was selfish last night, throwing a tantrum because I didn't know if You cared. Or if You did, I didn't even know what to do. All I needed was a word form You but You have remained silent. And I know I said Your will be done, but here I am, not even able to handle it. Forgive me. I want to declare that Your will be done and be joyful and accepting of what Your will is. But Your will is hard, Lord. Send me someone who could help me. Make my heart steadfast, Lord. Let me not be shaken. For the sake of Your glory, Lord, teach me to be a good testimony. I don't know how to fight this darkness on my own. I am weak. See? I wasn't even able to go on the week-long fast. Forgive me, Lord. I need to stop whining. Change my mindset. Let me see that this is just money. If the company closes, it closes. My people will be fine. But Lord, I do pray. I pray fervently for help. Save me, my God. Do not tarry. Quiet my heart.

Today, I will resolve to not complain. I will resolve to be joyful. I will do my best to find ways to make money for Komikasi, but I will trust You, my God, that You will save me. Be my Strength.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Strain Towards What is Ahead

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13, 14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Good morning! First Sunday of the year. Dear Lord, I pray for that one word, that one theme I need to focus on this year. I've been trying to make a plan in my little journal. But I don't think it can be sustained. Everything is still a bit of a jumble in my mind. Maybe I'll make a journal app. But what I wanted to do was a journal that would also serve as a Life Group material for people. First, it would talk about taking our thoughts captive. So, it's about setting what to think of. And creating a spoken declaration to ward off the darkness. Next, it's talking about what makes us happy. In my walk with You, I have learned that joy, like love, is an action word. It is not an outcome or state. It is a verb, something to actively do. So, for happiness, we first define what makes us happy. What awes us. And we actively pursue it. Then there's budgeting. It's good to know how much we have and how much we alot to things so we do not overspend or feel deprived. Here, we set what we want to achieve for the year and start saving up for it early on. And here's where we set sidelines and how we can earn extra income. Then there's the relationships. We spend so much time waiting for people to appear in our life. That we tend to forget that we have so many people in our lives we never really pay much attention to. We ask for friends. We ask for people we can hang out with. And we wait, when we have like a thousand friends on Facebook. Here, we set coffees. Every week, we have coffee with a person. Here's when we also set a mentor or be a mentor to someone. And maybe plan throwing parties. Next is exercise. We set exercise regimens and find buddies. Maybe decide to join a class. Next, we set learning. What do we learn this year? Do we learn blogging? Do we learn to cook that one mean dish? Then there's the makeover and grooming. Lord, I have so many ideas. But what to do with them? Do I make a book? I'd like to try this with my friends. Oh, yes, and there's the heart thing where we try to see the month in rose-colored glasses and be kind and freak everybody out. Ah, Lord. Teach me. Let me be useful to You and my fellow man.

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Wait for The Lord

"The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. 

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. 

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 

Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." 

(Psalm 27:1-14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Good morning. Thank You for the good start of the year. Thank You for the safe trip back. Lord, I pray, give me one word to focus on for the year. One word to concentrate on so I don't get overwhelmed. One word that You want me to really think about and work on. Last year, You've taught me about rejoicing in whatever circumstance You put me in. I wasn't able to do it very well. Even during the Christmas vacation, I was ungrateful and cruel. Lord, I don't want to be like that. I want to be with my family and smile and be nice and love them because I do love them. I'm just very impatient with them. I'm very impatient with my mom. I'm so very sorry. I want my mom to be happy. How, Lord? And how do I not be so impatient with her? I want to get away from Jade all the time because I feel likes he does nothing but put me down. But on the other hand, I think she's like that because she feels unloved. She feels that I don't want to be around her. Paano ba 'to, Lord? I don't know how to fix this because I've already reacted before I could stop myself. But this year, Lord, I resolve to not complain. I resolve to be kinder. And I resolve to rejoice, for that is Your will. Because You will teach me Your ways. And I will see Your goodness in the land of the living. And I will wait for You have told me so. And You've told me to be strong and take heart. I will do my best, Lord, to take heart. Have courage. Have courage to be happy.

Lord, I lift my heart to You. I still wish that I would find the right man to marry soon. Jade says I'm forcing myself to like Martin. And I know I am. I know at the back of my mind, I think I'm too old and I need to decide from the choices I'm given. And though I like Andro, Martin seems to be a more long-term choice. The only problem is I'm really not attracted to Martin. My heart doesn't beat for him. And Andro naman doesn't seem to be interested in me that way. But Martin is a good man and I think he can make a girl happy. I don't like me indecisive. People tend to get hurt. Lord, I lift this to You. I don't know what to do.

Lord, I pray for that one word, the theme for my year. Enlighten me, Lord. Is it courage? Is it rejoicing? Enlighten me and make it very clear what You want me to focus on. Enlighten me. This I pray, my God and and my Savior. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Peace to Those on Whom His Favor Rests

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Forgive me my darkness. But thank You for Your love. Thank You for everything You have blessed me with. I am ungrateful. But I don't want to be anymore. You have given me a father who loves me, who saves me and protects me. You have given me a mother who is strong and who doesn't give up. You have given me siblings who support me in all my endeavors. You have given me Komikasi, and people who are loyal to the company. You have given me friends. You have given me people who like me. And here I am, ungrateful. And I am sorry about that. I am blessed. Very very much blessed. And I thank You. More than those, Lord, You have called me to You. You have given me Your Son to die for my darkness so I can stand here in Your Presence, so that this ungrateful whiny imperfect girl can stand in Your Most Holy Presence. Forgive me, my God. I repent. I am ashamed of my ungratefulness, and how I continue to entertain the darkness. You have given me a new day. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Thank You for coffee with this man. Thank You for letting me help with this school. Thank You for the opportunity tonight. You have blessed me. I am favored. Lord, please help me to fight off the darkness. Help me to do what You've told me to do, and rejoice. Let Your peace truly reign in my heart. Because only Your peace will quiet the raging monster inside me. Teach me to enjoy what you've given me. 

And I pray, dear God, I pray for the right man to marry. Lord, please speak to me about this. Enlighten me. I really like someone but I'm not sure if he likes me, too. And how will I know Your will about this, Lord? Should I hold on and wait? Should I entertain the other people who are showing interest? I know I have to decide, but this is a field I don't know much about. I'm having coffee this morning with someone else. Please protect us. Let me not hurt this man, for even if my heart is set on someone else, this man is good and kind. I wish to befriend him for now and know more about him. Lord, please help me.

Lord, I lift my heart to You. I don't know what to do. I need Your help here. And what else, Lord, have I not surrendered to You. Please bring my attention to that, Lord. I wish to surrender to You. Tell me agin what You want me to do, my God. For I am Yours. You told me to rejoice, Lord. And that, I will do my best to do. I will try again today, Lord. I will love the mud for that shows me that You've blessed me. Help me change this heart, Lord, that it will no longer be ungrateful, but joyful in its peace in you.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

And my God Repeats It

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

And my God repeats this today. That He who began a good work in me will finish what He started. Dear Lord, I am indecisive. I play when I don't even realize it. But You will fix me. You have begun Your work. You have broken me and made me softer. Lord, when it comes to matters of the Heart, I don't know what to do. I need guidance. I want to be a good woman. I want to be a woman a man can be proud of. Teach me, Lord. And I pray for the right man for me. If he's here, Lord, make me sure. If he's not, Lord, please bring him to me soon. But make me decisive. I am hurting people with my indecision. There are three men right now but I am unsure for all of them. Does that mean I have to let go of all of them? Or do I choose from one of them? I am unsure, Lord. I dislike being indecisive but I can't decide, Lord! This is the rest of my life after all. Am I in love with any of them? I have a crush with one, I kinda like one, and the third is good man. What must I do, Lord?

Lord, perfect what You started in me. Make me a good woman. A confident beautiful healthy decisive woman who will take care of a man's heart. As I stand right now, I will only hurt them. Help me, Lord.

He Will Complete His Work

"... being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

"The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands." (Psalms 138:8 NKJV)

Dear Lord,

I had forgotten this. I had forgotten that You had called me years ago, You had called me to You, for Your purposes, Your pleasure, Your glory. I was broken and unlovable, but You, O Lord, promised. And You who promised are faithful. You have promised that You would perfect that which concerns me. I am awkward, unsure, afraid, with so little faith, but You have started the good work in me. You have made me gentler, kinder, more conscientious. I'm still quite a way off, but You will complete the work You have started in me. You are sovereign. And I am Yours. My very name declares Your oath, your promise. I suddenly just thought of something, Lord. Since my name means "God's Promise." Have You promised me to somebody? Am I Your promise to someone? That would be so romantic. May I think of romantic things, Lord? I'm always so afraid theses days. It may not be the case but I can't help but feel like I've been punished for wishing for romance. Change this heart, Lord. Free me from worry and fear. Let me love, let me wish, let me dream again. And let me be Yours. Be always with me, my God. I want to be in love with You. I want to be in awe of You. Save me like a hero. Protect me like a father. Love me. And let me be Yours. Be my God. And show me the paths I need to take. Show me how to show You that I love You. Make my heart kind and gentle and confident so that I will please You. Give me faith that I may please You. You've given me trials, but I don't know how to increase my faith during those trials. I'm miserable during the trials. But You told me to rejoice. I need a heart change, Lord. And I can't do it alone. I resubmit my life to You this morning. I want to live the life of freedom You promise. I want to be in love and in awe of You. Make my heart young again. Come in to my heart and expel all the demo sa na the darkness they bring. Shine in my heart, that I will shine as well in You.

Lord, I pray for my finances. Thank You for the referral by James. You are an awesome God. I pray that we get it. Grant it to us, my God, if You will it. And I also pray that we get Petron and Jollibee. Please empower my people that they may do great in the projects I have given them. Please bless us in Komikasi financially that we can thrive as a company. I met wilth Geiser Maclang yesterday. I pray for wisdom. If they could really help us with next year, that would be really great. But Lord, I don't want to make any wrong decisions for this company. Enlighten me. Give me wisdom and discernment. Speak to me somehow and let me know what Your will is in this endeavor. 

I pray also for a man. I submit myself to You, Lord, becuase I've chosen before and it wasn't good. I need Your guidance. I pray for a good man, Lord. One who would take care of me, who I can talk to about You, who would love me and who I could submit to and respect. Someone I would be excited to live the rest of my life with. Someone who would build a good and godly family with me. Someone strong in heart, Lord. Someone maalaga. I put my trust in You, Lord. You wouldn't show me things and deprive me of them, for You are a good God. I will have faith in You that You have not forgotten me.

Thank You, and this I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Morning Prayer

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly. (Psalm 5:3 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for a family who loves me. 

Lord, this darkness has been persistent. It has been eating at me for the past three years. Please take me out of the dark, Lord. I know, the tomb is open and I'm the one who's not coming out of it. But I seem to have forgotten how. I have shut off. I have shut off pleasure after I had been hurt. I have shut off dreams after the death of my own dreams. I say I have moved on but my heart is hole-ridden. My world is colorless. I no longer hurt, Lord, but then I no longer feel, Lord. In hard times, I am angry. In good times, I am indifferent.

Lord, I have a request. I have a prayer, a favor to ask. Lord, give me joy in my heart. I know this is in line with Your will. You've been telling me to rejoice. But my heart just has no energy to truly smile. You tell me to rejoice, Lord. Then, please, light the spark. Maybe I've never truly been joyful when I was young. My default face was never a smiling one.

Lord, I also thank You for the opportunity with Bulkypix. I pray for Your presence and blessing in this endeavor. There's also Eyetem, Epic Nomz, Loupe, Combi, Eclipse and Sum-It, products we've been developing, Lord. Thank You for helping us, Lord, and for sending us OJTers who actually finish things. Lord, give me the positive outlook to appreciate these. Excite me once more, Lord. Wake my heart. Open my eyes. Take my hand and take me out of the grave I'm in. I can't seem to stand up and walk out on my own. Let my people see. Let my family see that I appreciate and enjoy them for You have given them to me. I'm so ungrateful. But I don't want to be. Take me out of the dark, my Lord. I don't want to be there.

And I will wait. For You have told me to wait. Wait for You for You are faithful. I will wait, Lord. For You are my God. I am Yours created for Your pleasure and purposes. Amen.

Wake from your Slumber

Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:7, 8 NIV)

And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. (Romans 13:11, 12 NIV)

Give what is due, whether it's money, respect or honor. Love. It is time to wake up. The night is nearly over.

Where the Glory Goes

He must increase, but I must decrease. (John 3:30 NKJV)

Dear Lord,

I've been having these great ideas but when it comes to the stories, I get stumped. And that's possibly because You've emptied me of my desires. But You, O Lord, I know have remained in my heart. So, does that mean my story focus is just off that's why I can bring myself to write? I must decrease and You must increase. Your Glory has to shine through these story games. Tell me what to write about, Lord. What's a story that gives glory to You? Enlighten me, Lord.

Like Leaven

Another parable He spoke to them: “The kingdom of heaven is like leaven, which a woman took and hid in three measures of meal till it was all leavened.” (Matthew 13:33 NKJV)

Good morning, Lord,

I thank You for Your Word. I thank You for Your promises. Lord, give me courage. Give me strength to do what I need to do today. I need to talk to MRM. I don't look forward to it, and there's a negativeness that keep wanting to rise up in me. But Dad is right. And I need to do this for my company. I really need the funds, Lord. Payroll is just around the corner again. Ah, I don't feel like a proper Christian, always anxious and afraid. But You said Your Kingdom is like leaven. It has been put in me, but now I have to wait and trust that the meal will rise. All things work together for those who love You and are called for Your purpose. Take away my anxiety, Lord. And help me to choose joy. Calm me. They are all just people, like me, anyway. Nothing to be afraid of. What's the worst that could happen? Nothing. I retain the same state. But if You grant me the payment and soften their hearts, I will have payroll for my company.

Take away the anxiety and the anger, Lord. Let Your joy awaken in me. Let Your Spirit guard my heart from considering evil and negative and fear-filled things. I am Yours. I should not be timid. Be my strength, Lord. Give me wisdom and be with me. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.