So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV)
Dear Lord,
I know You created me for Your glory. Lord, I fall short. I fall so far far far off the mark. I have rage in my heart. It doesn't want to still. It doesn't want to quiet. It hurts people. And I can't help it. Lord, a lot of good things happened this week. I made up with my friend, I got 20% discount from a lady at the cafe, being the youngest president of the club has its perks, my printer finally brought what I had printed, I got new OJTers. But there is a rage in me that chooses to look at the wrong things than the right. The barcode's too small, my marketer seems to not believe in what he's selling, my game is unbalanced, delays! Lord, it's only been the second week of the work year, and I'm already angry. Lord, I can't quiet my heart. Lord, I need Your help. I need Your grace. And what am I to do with Magoo? I'm not satisfied with his work. But I just regularized him. It annoys me that Martin doesn't ask permission when he'll be out.
Lord, help me. My heart rages. I don't know what to do. It's no longer pleasant for me at work. I don't look forward to work.lord, help me. Help me. Help me. All my actions are far from glorifying You. I want to glorify You. But my heart will not cooperate.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
My Spirit Fails
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— (Ephesians 2:8 NIV)
Answer me quickly, Lord ; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:7, 8 NIV)
Dear Lord,
Forgive me. I broke my fast yesterday. Both the food and the Isaiah 58 fast. I gave in to my rage. I burned the whole day. But I know that I have been saved, not by my works, but by Your grace. You have reminded me that. Thank You.
But Lord, my spirit fails. Do not hide Your face from me. I need You more than ever, Lord. Calm the raging inside me. Reign my tongue, Lord. Today, I will speak to him. Give me the strength to wield power as the leader. But give me the control to be compassionate, Lord.
Thank You for the opportunity. The Ateneo de Davao thing seems like it's going to work. Bless the endeavor, Lord. Be with me always.
Answer me quickly, Lord ; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psalm 143:7, 8 NIV)
Dear Lord,
Forgive me. I broke my fast yesterday. Both the food and the Isaiah 58 fast. I gave in to my rage. I burned the whole day. But I know that I have been saved, not by my works, but by Your grace. You have reminded me that. Thank You.
But Lord, my spirit fails. Do not hide Your face from me. I need You more than ever, Lord. Calm the raging inside me. Reign my tongue, Lord. Today, I will speak to him. Give me the strength to wield power as the leader. But give me the control to be compassionate, Lord.
Thank You for the opportunity. The Ateneo de Davao thing seems like it's going to work. Bless the endeavor, Lord. Be with me always.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
A Prayer
You have shown me what is good, O God. I will rejoice ever more. Teach me to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with You. In all circumstance, I will do things without complaining. I will submit for I revere You. And I will be strong, and not be afraid. I will believe, for You are with me always.
You have revealed and saved and proclaimed. I am a witness that You are God. May I not keep silent. May I tell my story.
Keep me, Lord, as the apple of your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. Cover me with Your feathers. Under Your wings I will find refuge. Your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart.
Teach me your way, Lord , that I may rely on Your faithfulness. Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
You have revealed and saved and proclaimed. I am a witness that You are God. May I not keep silent. May I tell my story.
Keep me, Lord, as the apple of your eye. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings. Cover me with Your feathers. Under Your wings I will find refuge. Your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart.
Teach me your way, Lord , that I may rely on Your faithfulness. Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. Teach me to do Your will, for You are my God; may Your good Spirit lead me on level ground.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you, that I may sing for joy and be glad all my days. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
God's Will
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV)
Sovereign Lord,
Thank You for what You have given me. You have taught me. You have put me in a position to decide. You've given me experiences. You have given me people to love. You have given me people who love me. You have given me a story. Lord, I want to write of what you've taught me. I just don't know if I can sustain it. I want to write love stories, Lord. But You have emptied my heart. It hasn't been filled yet. Lord, I don't want to go back to what I was before. Fill me, Lord, with Your Spirit. Tell me what to write. My heart is still in comics and novels and games and animation. But I've lost my stories. You have emptied me of my old desires, of my old stories. Tell me what to write. Tell me what stories to tell. I want to write romances. What are the love stories You want me to tell? Send me writers, Lord. And comics. Weren't we going to spread hope in a hopeless city through that? But I don't know what to do yet. Lord, I am here. Use me. I know I can't write about love if I don't know love. But You've been teaching me. Lord, inspire me. Give me a story to tell. Mine? Mine isn't done yet. My love story isn't novel-worthy yet, I think. What should I write about, Lord?
Lord, You have given me this area of influence. I can do apps, comics, and games. I can start things. Lord, I have card games of my own. My February Launch is an opportunity. Lord, I have a plan. But is it acceptable to You? Speak to me, Lord. Show me what You want me to do. Use me in my sphere of influence. Teach me how to reach who You want me to reach.
I offer You these hands and this battered, tattered, fumbling heart. I'm sure You can use them. I offer You this game. What do You want with it? Use it, Lord. And use me.
Sovereign Lord,
Thank You for what You have given me. You have taught me. You have put me in a position to decide. You've given me experiences. You have given me people to love. You have given me people who love me. You have given me a story. Lord, I want to write of what you've taught me. I just don't know if I can sustain it. I want to write love stories, Lord. But You have emptied my heart. It hasn't been filled yet. Lord, I don't want to go back to what I was before. Fill me, Lord, with Your Spirit. Tell me what to write. My heart is still in comics and novels and games and animation. But I've lost my stories. You have emptied me of my old desires, of my old stories. Tell me what to write. Tell me what stories to tell. I want to write romances. What are the love stories You want me to tell? Send me writers, Lord. And comics. Weren't we going to spread hope in a hopeless city through that? But I don't know what to do yet. Lord, I am here. Use me. I know I can't write about love if I don't know love. But You've been teaching me. Lord, inspire me. Give me a story to tell. Mine? Mine isn't done yet. My love story isn't novel-worthy yet, I think. What should I write about, Lord?
Lord, You have given me this area of influence. I can do apps, comics, and games. I can start things. Lord, I have card games of my own. My February Launch is an opportunity. Lord, I have a plan. But is it acceptable to You? Speak to me, Lord. Show me what You want me to do. Use me in my sphere of influence. Teach me how to reach who You want me to reach.
I offer You these hands and this battered, tattered, fumbling heart. I'm sure You can use them. I offer You this game. What do You want with it? Use it, Lord. And use me.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Remember
I will remember the deeds of the Lord ; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” (Psalm 77:11, 12 NIV)
Dear Lord,
You are the God I prayed to when I was afraid of the pain of the plaster when they were about to take off my dextrose. But You made my dextrose leak, got the plasters wet, and I felt no pain.
You are the God I prayed to when we had just moved to Manila, and I was worried that my parents weren't home yet. I would pray to You, and moments after, You would bring my parents home and quiet my fears.
You are the God who always protects me. I've had many close calls with choking and almost getting run over. But You are always there to protect me.
You are the God I pray to when I'm worried about payroll. And money would come.
You are the God I prayed to when a man broke my heart and I couldn't fight the pain. I held on to You and You got me through the storm. And now I am over him, and there is no hatred between us.
You are the God I am praying to now, when I don't know what to do, when my closest friend suddenly tells me he loves me, but I don't love him back that way. You are the sovereign God, Lord. Your will be done. But teach me Your ways, Lord. Let me understand Your will. Teach me how to go about this. Teach me how to be sensitive to Your promptings.
Lord, let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.
Dear Lord,
You are the God I prayed to when I was afraid of the pain of the plaster when they were about to take off my dextrose. But You made my dextrose leak, got the plasters wet, and I felt no pain.
You are the God I prayed to when we had just moved to Manila, and I was worried that my parents weren't home yet. I would pray to You, and moments after, You would bring my parents home and quiet my fears.
You are the God who always protects me. I've had many close calls with choking and almost getting run over. But You are always there to protect me.
You are the God I pray to when I'm worried about payroll. And money would come.
You are the God I prayed to when a man broke my heart and I couldn't fight the pain. I held on to You and You got me through the storm. And now I am over him, and there is no hatred between us.
You are the God I am praying to now, when I don't know what to do, when my closest friend suddenly tells me he loves me, but I don't love him back that way. You are the sovereign God, Lord. Your will be done. But teach me Your ways, Lord. Let me understand Your will. Teach me how to go about this. Teach me how to be sensitive to Your promptings.
Lord, let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Mud and the Blind
John 9:1-7 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” this word means “Sent”. So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.
I listened to a podcast by Pastor Steven Furtick about God's method and madness. It was funny and insightful. He was talking about how we usually expect something glorious and magical from God when we ask for His help. But many times, he'll make mud from His saliva and put that on our eyes. Very anti-climactic and roundabout, if you think about it. But God's ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are different from our thoughts. But after all the things that happen, and we follow what He tells us to do (go wash your eyes in the river), we see.
They say to be careful what you pray for. The Lord listens. Two years ago, I prayed for love. True love. And instead of magically making me more loving towards people, my God made me fall in love, then allowed my heart to be broken. Then put me at a crossroad where I had to choose if I was going to love or not. He showed me what true love is. Not mush. Not "I love you"s. Not the warmth you see in a person's eyes. Those are manifestations of being in love. But true love is forgiveness. True love is the decision to not hate. To let go, and when I say let go, that includes the hurt, the bitterness, the anger. It wasn't easy. It took about a year. And I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't even rely on just my friends and family around me. Some of them would listen, but they couldn't give me the strength and power I needed. Only One had the supernatural strength to help me follow through on my decision to choose love.
Then, just as I had gotten over my first love, a new situation popped up. It's a bit more complicated than the previous one. But again, if I choose love, then love is patient, love is kind. It does not delight in evil. It protects. I almost wanted to give up. But "What is your choice, Ria?" a voice asked me. Love protects. Love perseveres. I'm so tired, Lord. I need Your strength once again.
God works in mysterious ways. But one thing I know for sure, I'm really learning about love and the matters of the heart. Is it easy? No. Is it done? No. Do I feel lost and frustrated and disappointed? For sure. But some things I know for sure keeps me going, even if it's hard to see the light at the moment: I prayed for love. My God listens. My God is faithful.
Therefore I will proceed. And to my dear friend, I know you're angry. I know it's painful. I know it's corny to tell you to hold on to our God. But He's saved you before. Ask Him to save you again. Because as much as I want to, I can't save you. And we both know that whatever I do will hurt you. I will persevere. I will do my best. But it's not going to amount to much. Only your Creator can reach down that deep and soothe the hurt in your heart. I can't do it. I pray and wish and hope that we can be good friends again. That I can have your love as a friend. Because right now, I am afraid that since I've rejected that type of affection from you, you would only either give me that type of affection nonetheless, or withhold all affection from me. Forgive me for my actions. Knowing me, I would still probably continue to end up doing things that would hurt you. But just because I spend less time being with you doesn't mean I don't love you. When I'm not in good terms with my sister, I ignore her. But that doesn't mean I've stopped loving her. Know that my action is brought about by panic and confusion. But please know that in my heart, I do love you dearly as a close and treasured friend no matter what.
I entrust you now to the God I serve. May He heal your heart. May He send you soon a nice sensible girl who will love you well. He sometimes uses mud to do His miracles, but you know after everything, the miracle will still happen.
I listened to a podcast by Pastor Steven Furtick about God's method and madness. It was funny and insightful. He was talking about how we usually expect something glorious and magical from God when we ask for His help. But many times, he'll make mud from His saliva and put that on our eyes. Very anti-climactic and roundabout, if you think about it. But God's ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are different from our thoughts. But after all the things that happen, and we follow what He tells us to do (go wash your eyes in the river), we see.
They say to be careful what you pray for. The Lord listens. Two years ago, I prayed for love. True love. And instead of magically making me more loving towards people, my God made me fall in love, then allowed my heart to be broken. Then put me at a crossroad where I had to choose if I was going to love or not. He showed me what true love is. Not mush. Not "I love you"s. Not the warmth you see in a person's eyes. Those are manifestations of being in love. But true love is forgiveness. True love is the decision to not hate. To let go, and when I say let go, that includes the hurt, the bitterness, the anger. It wasn't easy. It took about a year. And I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't even rely on just my friends and family around me. Some of them would listen, but they couldn't give me the strength and power I needed. Only One had the supernatural strength to help me follow through on my decision to choose love.
Then, just as I had gotten over my first love, a new situation popped up. It's a bit more complicated than the previous one. But again, if I choose love, then love is patient, love is kind. It does not delight in evil. It protects. I almost wanted to give up. But "What is your choice, Ria?" a voice asked me. Love protects. Love perseveres. I'm so tired, Lord. I need Your strength once again.
God works in mysterious ways. But one thing I know for sure, I'm really learning about love and the matters of the heart. Is it easy? No. Is it done? No. Do I feel lost and frustrated and disappointed? For sure. But some things I know for sure keeps me going, even if it's hard to see the light at the moment: I prayed for love. My God listens. My God is faithful.
Therefore I will proceed. And to my dear friend, I know you're angry. I know it's painful. I know it's corny to tell you to hold on to our God. But He's saved you before. Ask Him to save you again. Because as much as I want to, I can't save you. And we both know that whatever I do will hurt you. I will persevere. I will do my best. But it's not going to amount to much. Only your Creator can reach down that deep and soothe the hurt in your heart. I can't do it. I pray and wish and hope that we can be good friends again. That I can have your love as a friend. Because right now, I am afraid that since I've rejected that type of affection from you, you would only either give me that type of affection nonetheless, or withhold all affection from me. Forgive me for my actions. Knowing me, I would still probably continue to end up doing things that would hurt you. But just because I spend less time being with you doesn't mean I don't love you. When I'm not in good terms with my sister, I ignore her. But that doesn't mean I've stopped loving her. Know that my action is brought about by panic and confusion. But please know that in my heart, I do love you dearly as a close and treasured friend no matter what.
I entrust you now to the God I serve. May He heal your heart. May He send you soon a nice sensible girl who will love you well. He sometimes uses mud to do His miracles, but you know after everything, the miracle will still happen.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Love
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)
And we come full circle, Lord. It goes back to love. Forgive me, Lord. I had started giving up again. I had started pulling away because I can't control the situation and I feel helpless and tired. I love my friend, Lord. But I shouldn't be easily angered. I should always persevere. Even if it's frustrating. And I should always hope. And I do hope, Lord, that one day, we'll be friends again. 'Til that day, Lord, I lift him up to You. And I lay myself at Your feet, Lord. In Jesus' Name, help me, my God. If You are teaching me to love, Lord, thank You. But give me clear instructions as to what to do. I am floundering, Lord. I'm doggy-paddling my way around. And I don't even know if where I'm going is right. Lead me, Lord. I need Your instruction. I relinquish my holds, Lord. Here is my friend. Here is Komikasi. I have used them as my anchor long enough. You are my anchor. Teach me what to do, Lord.
And we come full circle, Lord. It goes back to love. Forgive me, Lord. I had started giving up again. I had started pulling away because I can't control the situation and I feel helpless and tired. I love my friend, Lord. But I shouldn't be easily angered. I should always persevere. Even if it's frustrating. And I should always hope. And I do hope, Lord, that one day, we'll be friends again. 'Til that day, Lord, I lift him up to You. And I lay myself at Your feet, Lord. In Jesus' Name, help me, my God. If You are teaching me to love, Lord, thank You. But give me clear instructions as to what to do. I am floundering, Lord. I'm doggy-paddling my way around. And I don't even know if where I'm going is right. Lead me, Lord. I need Your instruction. I relinquish my holds, Lord. Here is my friend. Here is Komikasi. I have used them as my anchor long enough. You are my anchor. Teach me what to do, Lord.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
He Will Make Straight Your Paths
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV)
Lord,
I have been taking things into my own hands again. This thing with him, I have been trying to fix on my own, using my own powers. Lord, I'm sorry. Here. I relinquish control. It's not like I was ever in control anyway. I got so tired, Lord. I slept ten hours! But fine, Lord, if You wish to take him away from me and Komikasi, do so. I relinquish my hold.
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5, 6 NIV)
Lord,
I have been taking things into my own hands again. This thing with him, I have been trying to fix on my own, using my own powers. Lord, I'm sorry. Here. I relinquish control. It's not like I was ever in control anyway. I got so tired, Lord. I slept ten hours! But fine, Lord, if You wish to take him away from me and Komikasi, do so. I relinquish my hold.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Do Not Return to Your Vomit
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1 NIV)
Dear Lord,
It was also taught in church last Sunday not to return to one's own vomit. You have set me free, and yet sometimes I find myself wanting to return to the life I had already left behind. There's something comfortable about it. It's not that I'm afraid to leave it, but I don't know what to replace it with.
Lord, today is the first day of work for the year. Bless the day, Lord. Bless my people and all our clients and suppliers. Thank you for the past year. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Dear Lord,
It was also taught in church last Sunday not to return to one's own vomit. You have set me free, and yet sometimes I find myself wanting to return to the life I had already left behind. There's something comfortable about it. It's not that I'm afraid to leave it, but I don't know what to replace it with.
Lord, today is the first day of work for the year. Bless the day, Lord. Bless my people and all our clients and suppliers. Thank you for the past year. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)