Ungrateful

Dear Lord,

You are a good God. I have seen Your goodness in the land of the living. I called to You and You helped me. You plucked my feet out from the traps that bound me. I was overtaken by my financial problems, but You, Lord, gave me rest. I called to You in my distress. I didn't know how to get out of the pit. No one wanted me for the price I needed, and I called to You for help. And You gave me this job, which paid for how much I needed to pay for my financial obligations. And it is a job with two functions. You know me so well that You know that a double-functioned job is needed to keep me from getting too bored. You have thought of that, too.

It would take me two years to pay for my debts. You are giving me two years of respite. But what does my selfish heart do? I have been ungrateful. Instead of accepting the rest You have given me, I go and find other projects to help me feel significant. I did not trust in the value You have given me. Instead of thanking You, praising You, and enjoying the two years You have given me, I complain, I struggle. I sought to find a way to break free. I made a deal with an organization without consulting You. And they said yes, for I know that You have given me the ability to make them say yes. But is this even Your will? Deep in my heart, I know it isn't because it goes against what You have given me. Taking this on will cost more money. Taking this on will deprive me of rest. But also, taking this on at this time, I know that the motives of my heart isn't pleasing to you. It's not because I want to help, or I think it will glorify You. It's because I'm afraid of insignificance.

Instead of rejoicing that Andro is nearby and this is a good opportunity to strengthen our friendship, I look at what I have lost. That I'm so far away from my friends, that I'm so far away from my sisters and parents, that I miss my organization. But if I'm to look at it with the eyes of a grateful person, I would see that this is a great opportunity to build new friendships, an opportunity to lose weight, to contemplate, to exercise. I keep on focusing on what I lack and what I have lost instead of what I have and what opportunity there are.

Lord! Forgive me my ungratefulness. Here is what I want to do, for your glory, O Lord: I will live in Ortigas, in Pearl, really live here. I will develop good eating habits and exercise regularly. I will make friends here. I will root here for two years. I will find a way to increase my energy so I can function properly. I will wake up at 6:00 and sleep at 10:00. I'll take an hour for quiet time. I will exercise 3x a week. I will meet up with a friend once a week. I will enjoy myself in this area.

Then I will excel at this work I'm in. I will train my supervisor so he can be a good employee and support me properly. As for the coders, I need to make them feel supported and believed in. I need to up our quality. I will stop complaining and only talk of good things. I don't need to take over all the aspects of the company, but only do my very best in the position I have been given. I need to stop trying to build new businesses for now. I need to step back and not be the boss, and not be afraid of insignificance because my value is fixed in You, in that I am Yours.

As an on the side, I will help Andro with his project. I will train in game design, and I need to read a lot again. That's it. I just need to train. And slowly plan how I'll do my games when I come back in two years. No implementation. Just training and planning.

But here's my problem, Lord. I've just set something into motion again. And I'm flying to Japan again at the end of the month to work on it. Lord, what to do? In my disobedience, I have caused this. But You are a God who makes the biggest miracles out of our worst mistakes. Father, I lay this at your feet. It excites me, but for the wrong reasons. So I lay it at your feet. I have started it so I will go and continue it as best as I could. But I turn away from my selfishness now and turn to You. Kill it if You will. Or prosper it as You will. But take me back into Your favor and forgive me my ungratefulness. I know You can salvage this. Therefore, I lay it down at your feet. Make it happen or make it not. But be my God no matter what. Take me back and let me dwell in Your will.

O Lord, be with me. You promised to perfect that which concerns me so, please, take me back, O Lord, and take over. Amen.

I am Yours

You have made me, O God, wonderfully and fearfully. You have blessed me and protected me. You have given me friends and family who love me. And in all this, Your burden to me is light. Your instructions simple. And that is to rejoice. And I will rejoice, Lord, regardless of circumstance.

I pray for the opportunities You have thrown my way. If You will it, Lord, let me have them. Let me have what You will. Protect me as You always have. And I will not fret for You are with me.

Lord, I pray for wonders. I will seek Your wonders, Lord. I will turn my eyes to seek them, and I know I will find them if I look. So reveal Your glory, Lord. Put me in awe of You, for You are my God.

Monday

Dear Lord, 

It's a new week. Thank You for family and friends and learnings and opportunities. Lord, I pray for Your healing. My chest feels heavy and weird. I feel so tired and I just woke up. Lord, please help us with this new business. We still don't have an investor. My partner's brother-in-law wants to invest, but he's asking for 40%. That's huge, Lord. Do we accept? He's a shark, Lord. And while I admire that, do we want a shark in our business? Lord, enlighten me. Give me wisdom. Nobody else is there to invest at the moment. I'll probably agree to 2.5 for 20. But that's still big. Help me, Lord. No options? Show me what to do, my God. I know I'm feeling all vague and all because I'm still trying to establish my identity. And I'm still probably tying my identity to my success and accomplishments. But who do You say that I am, Lord? Say it and I will believe. I want to be the light and saly You want me to be. And I know that isn't really dependent on my accomplishments. But I need to be financially okay. He me. Show me what to do.

The Business and Other Things

Dear Father,

Good morning. Thank You for bringing my parents home safe. I'd like to spend a bit more time with Mom. Maybe this Saturday then. Thank You also for new friends, a new business, and a new outlook. Lord, I still am not really properly fixed. And I know this is my own doing. You speak gently, but I don't always follow. The newest lesson, and I know I've seen this already even when I was still studying in Japan, is that I speak ill of people. And guess what, people actually believe me. And since my speech was really just because they cause a stir in my life, when they start growing on me, the ones closest to me think these new friends are not very good. Forgive me. I have to take account for all the idle words I have spoken. I am sorry. I am suffering the consequences now. But I will do my best to curate my words in future. Your warning has been heard, my God. Now, I pray that You send Your Spirit to stand guard over my mouth that my words will now build up rather than tear down. I, of all people, should know the power of words. And here I am, throwing it around lightly. I need to train myself. Maybe I'll stop speaking for three days, and pray and condition my mind. Then I will give myself phrases that can be said only. Allow myself only those encouraging phrases for two weeks. Then maybe then, I can consciously curate my words.

Lord, I lift up to You this new business we're doing. I thank You for giving me Christians to be with me as I go about doing this. It is a wonderful feeling to know that this endeavor is covered in prayer. Lord, I feel a degradation in my chest. I know it is caused by stress. And I don't want to be stressed. I pray for the success of this endeavor. Please be with us and I pray, Lord, for provision. We still don't have an investor. I need Your help badly, my God. Be with me.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Blessings

Dear Lord,

God of all good things. Thank You. This bootcamp has been very good. I understood my friend a bit more. I met new people. I am able to flesh out the idea more. Lord, I lift this project up to You. May it be successful if You will it, Lord. 

Acknowledging the Truth

Dear Lord,

God of the universe, my Creator and Teacher. I realized something today. I realized that there were issues from three years ago that I never really addressed. I say that I have survived that storm unscathed, but in truth, even though I learned to forgive and not hold a grudge, a part of me still died in that encounter. Three years ago, I had lost my passion. I had lost my fire and my drive. I had lost my desires. And like a stroke victim, I stayed in the comfort of my paralysis. Instead of doing what I could to help spark the passion back, I, instead, learned to operate without feeling. And I ran my business without fire or passion, only thinking of my responsibilities for my people and how we needed to keep afloat. But I didn't try to find the love for my work back. I had lost it but I didn't try to get it back.

Then a year after, my best friend fell in love with me. And my emotional indifference to my work took an even worse turn. Now, I didn't want to stay in the office because I didn't want to see my friend. I didn't handle that situation well. My heart was already far from my work, and now, I wanted to physically be away, too. Because the passion for the work was dead, it wasn't difficult to find excuses to be outside of the office. My people saw that. My friend saw that. That's why his angry words towards me held truth. But I just didn't want to admit it.

And with the hardships of collecting from clients, and my physically not being there, and my loss of love, my company fell. And it was my people who had to suffer. Truly, I had failed them. I am grateful that my friends took some of them. And that the rest had gotten good jobs. You take care of Your people, Lord, and I am grateful for that. But the fact remains that this venture has failed because I remained dead in my tomb. 

Three years ago, You promised that I would rise again. And around two years ago, just as I was beginning to recover from my heartbreak, You told me to get out of my tomb. But I didn't understand it at first. And it was too uncomfortable to move from where I was. But now I see the consequences of my disobedience. And innocent people had to suffer for it. Forgive me, Lord. Forgive me.

But all is not lost, for You gave me a promise that my children will return to me, and I wouldn't know where they all came from. Queens will nurture them and Kings will take them in. Then one day, they will return. And I hold on to that promise for You, who promised, are faithful. In the meantime, I will go beyond myself. I will stretch out and find the spark back. I will try out new things, rekindle my love for stories and comics and games. And I will rebuild my company into what I had always intended it to be: a creator of culture, a shaper of minds, a teacher of value. But I cannot do this without a heart. So, Lord, I lift this endeavor up to You. Be with me, Lord, as I go on this quest to regain my heart. Keep my people, Lord. Keep them safe and teach them things. Use them to touch lives and reach out. Let them bring glory to You. And give me wisdom to know how to go about my quest. That I may live the life You have promised Your people: full, passionate, and fruitful.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Remain in Me

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (John 15:4 NIV)

Lord, I have been far away from You these past few days. But please, Lord, come back to me. Forgive me. Let me draw near to You again. Speak to me. I haven't heard You recently. But today, You told me to remain in You. That You created me in Your image. 

Who are You, Lord? You are savior. You are redeemer. You are different to each person because of what they need. But it doesn't change that You are my God. You are my King who I will follow. You are creator. Does that mean I can create, too? I used to create a lot in the past. I used to create for the joy of it. But I hardly do that anymore. You are the binder of broken hearts. Can I participate in that? But a part of me feels that I'm not yet credible. My only one failed. But I do feel like I passed that test even though it ended. What does it mean to be in Your image, Lord?

Direction

Dear Lord,

God of the universe, my Protector, my Provider, my Light, may Your will be done.

Lord, I have closed the studio. Most of my people have work already. Thank You for that. Thank You also for showing me kindness through the people around me who thought about me and cared enough to help me. Lord, what do You wish me to do now. I haven't decided what to do yet. I don't know what to do now. Do I stay in games? Do I just rest, then go back to it? Or do I go for a completely new industry? I know it doesn't matter much where I go as long as I live that path in love and compassion and justice, and I walk humbly with You. But where will I produce most fruit?

What are my options, Lord? I am proposing something for an agency now. It's Advergames, Lord. Also that dance competition. I don't know if I'll get them. I lift those up to You, Lord. But my thought is, I just came out of Advergaming. Should I go back in? For these, I will because I still need money to pay my people and my debts. But if I get these, these will also be long-term. And I would be very grateful, Lord, if You grant me these so that I will have income for the next two years.

Am I worrying for nothing? There's also Ideaspace. I'm very excited with the bootcamp next week. And there's also James' projects. Actually, Lord, there's a lot of possibles. Probables, in fact. But is that what I should do, Lord? Am I worrying for nothing?

Dear God, dear God. I come before You today to ask. Please give me a sense of purpose.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Go Out and Frolic

But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves. (Malachi 4:2 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for giving me money today to pay my people and the rent. Dear Lord, please save me. I still need about half a million to pay them for Friday and for their separation pay. And there's still the bills, Lord. The bills haven't finished yet. Lord, please help me. I feel a little overwhelmed. And my heart feels a little broken. But Lord, You said we would go out there and frolic like well-fed calves. Lord, I put my trust and hope in You. In my head there is a whispering, telling me that You won't help me because this is my fault, and I have to live with the consequences of my actions. I know that I do, Lord, but You also said You will not leave me or desert me. That You will be with me every step of the way. Lord, where are You? I seek You. I thank You for giving me the check today. That will cover last January's payroll. But what of Friday, Lord? Lord, let Your presence be known. Show me that I'm not alone.

Forgive me for my lack of faith. I know I should trust You more, without needing to see or feel. But I am merely a human, Lord, with a broken heart and a darkness about me. I cannot get out oft his alone. I cannot heal my own heart, my God.

Be with me, Lord, I resolve to rejoice and be glad in this day You have made.

I pray this in the mighty name of Your Son, Jesus. Amen.

Reverent Submission

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered (Hebrews 5:7, 8 NIV)

Dear Father,

You heard the prayers of Jesus because He came to You in reverent submission. I humbly come before You now, Lord. Dear God in heaven, Holy is Your Name. May Your Kingdom come and may Your will be done. Forgive me my sins for I am weak. Forgive me my indecisions and my lack of faith. Lord, I come before You, and implore You, Lord, please help me. I really need money to pay my employees. Just two pay periods and separation pay to go, Lord. Please, Lord, last stretch, don't leave me. You've saved me before. You've always saved me before. Don't leave me now. I don't know where to get what I'll pay them on Friday. We don't even know if MRM will really pay tomorrow. But I pray, I hope, and fervently pray, Lord, move their hearts. Let them look kindly on us and release the Momentum check na tomorrow, that my employees will be paid already. Their salary is two weeks late. Lord, be kind to my boys. Please allow me to pay for their salaries already. Lord, I come humbly before You. you are a great God and I am a sinner. But I have no one else to turn to, my God. Lord, please. Please be kind. Please turn to me and see my suffering. Lord, please. Please be kind to my people. Please let me pay them already. Please release the Momentum check tomorrow that I may pay them and the rent. And I don't know how, Lord, but I need Your miracle, Lord, for Friday. I have no idea where to find the money to pay my people for their last payroll and separation pay. There is also the matter with the building, Lord. They won't allow us to pre-terminate. Or rather, if we do, they will get payment for the rest of the months, Lord. Lord, help me. I'm going to try to get in touch with their president, Lord. Be with me. And how about Rizza, Lord?

Lord God, our Father, I am here before You, today. Please give me strength to face the week. And I need Your help, my God. With finding the finances, with talking to Jack, with talking to the building president. Lord, be with me, and show favor upon me. Shower me with Your blessings and please don't leave me to face the consequences of my actions alone. I know it is my fault. But Father, please, help me. Save me as You've always saved me. Please, Lord, don't leave me. Give me the wisdom to know what to do. To find ways to find the money that I need. To speak the right words to the people I need to meet.

This I pray, Lord, in Your Son's mighty name. Amen.

Do Not Be Anxious

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6, 7 NIV)

Dear Lord,

You've told me this twice today. And I know You've been telling me this since before. That I don't need to be anxious about anything. Thank You, Lord, that Komikasi lasted this long. Thank You for the more than 3 years with my people. Thank You that You have made them kind and understanding employees. And please take care of them. May they find jobs quickly, and may they find their new workplaces enjoyable. I also thank You for the opportunities and for the friends and family who encourage me and try to save me, and at the very least (but oh so very welcome) are sympathetic to my closing down. Thank You that my GDAP friends are taking in some of my guys. Thank You for Peter Cauton, and James Pacaba, and everyone else You've introduced to me. Lord, I pray that there will be a good opportunity with James later. I also pray for JustCoffee, Lord. That You will bless it, if You will it, that it can help people. Thank You for letting me meet Brian. Though I don't know how it could happen, save him, my Lord. And I pray for Misha. Thank You for letting me have him as a friend. And I pray for him, for direction for him. I also pray for Martin and Andro. I pray that You call them to You and heal them. Thank You for Mom, Dad and my siblings. I couldn't ask for a more supportive family.

Please bless the day, Lord. And I pray, Lord, please help me with my financial obligations. Be kind to my people, Lord. Help me to be able to pay them soon.

Thank You, again, Lord, for blessing me with Komikasi for this long. In Jesus' Name, this I pray. Amen.

Wholeness

The human spirit can endure in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear? (Proverbs 18:14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I'm at it again, trying to go back to a life I had already left. On the one hand, I want to follow You, and follow what You said I should do. But the thought that I can make money doing something that is not pleasing to You is still pulling me. And that leads to me going back to my former life. You have healed me, but I keep trying to go back. Forgive me. Forgive me, Lord. My flesh is weak. I implore You, my God, show me something of higher value, that I may forever leave the life I have left behind. Forgive me, Lord. I know I am only destroying my own self. But what can I do? What should I do? Actually, I know what I need to do. But please, Lord, give me the self-control. And show me a life of higher value that I may see it and long for it.

Amen.

Prisoner of Christ

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV)

As one who has decided to follow Christ, I need to practice humility. I think the disappointments I feel are caused by my pride. I see myself highly, someone good at what she does, and beautiful. And I think that I deserve the best in life, and the best people. I am not humble at all, nor am I gentle. At the back of my mind, I don't want to work for Daddy because it isn't my show. How can you be known when you're just running an accounting firm? Also, I have to submit to a higher authority if I work for Dad. If I am humble, I should see this as a good opportunity to rest. I should put my Dad's and my family's finances over my need for freedom. I have to be gentle, not abrasive. I have to be patient, and forbearing. I am so impatient with my mother. But I don't want to be. I know my mom has certain reactions that irk me. But my reactions are not so good, either. Lord, please, help me be kind to my mom. I want a very good relationship with my mom.

Thank You, Lord, for the revelations. Please infuse me with Your wisdom and strength so that I may have the power to change my life.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

More Wisdom

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17, 18 NIV)

Lord,

Is it selfish ambition that drives me to need to fly? Why do I need to escape? What am I escaping from? Lord, I really need to make those predecisions soon. I'm still so affected when my mother and brother shoot me down. I love them, but I don't know why they shoot me down. I don't think they just want me to feel bad. But Pat always sees the problems, and Mom so easily rejects anything she doesn't want with no regard to my feelings. Sometimes, her reasons are not even valid. She just prefers something else.

I should not let these affect me. These are their opinions and people are entitled to them. I shouldn't keep exploding.

Also, Lord, today is when I tell my boys. Give me the wisdom to say this properly, with the compassion and kindness to not make it too hard on them.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Crazy Prayers

Lord,

My Refuge and my Strength. You are the Doer of the impossible. You are the Healer od broken hearts. Lord, hear my plea. Hear my cry. And grant me my impossible prayer. Let none of them clip my wings, Lord. Let none of them tie me down, Lord. You have given me the desire for significance and independence. Lord, why are they running my life? Let them see that I am old enough. But give me the ability to show them that I can be sufficient without my parents' help. But if You will me to stay, Lord, then take away the feeling I have of being trapped. Free me, my God. And make me smile again.

Lord, please, I implore You in Jesus' Name. Please turn to me, my God. Amen.

Wisdom

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5 NIV)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5, 6 NIV)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)

Dear Lord,

My God and my Protector, may Your Kingdom Come and may Your will be done. May the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love. Show me the way I should go.

Lord, today, I woke up to the word Wisdom. Lord, I pray, grant me wisdom. I am about to close my studio. What do You wish me to do instead? Martin is also texting very frequently now. How do You want me to proceed? I would like to live in a way that is pleasing to You. But I have lost my way, Lord. I found out about WWOOF last night and Workaway. I would like to try them out. But what do You say about it, Lord? I do still have responsibilities here. And I actually don't have an idea how to pay for all the debts yet. But I want to pay off all the debts and live a life that displays the higher values. Lord, I want to live a life that You would be happy with. I stumbled again last night. In my actions and in my words. Forgive me. But I will try again. With You as my strength, I know I will get there. For I know You will complete what You started in me. I know You've tarted renewing my mind and taking off certain desires. It's taking a while, but love is patient and You love me so I know You won't give up on me. And therefore, I do not doubt that You will enlighten me and give me wisdom and make clear to me what You wish me to do, where You wish me to go.

Thank You for today, and thank You for the people who love me. Call Martin and Andro to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Value-based World

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:24-34 NIV)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:34 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for letting me meet Pastor Joey. His insights are very valuable. He said we live in a values-based world, and the only way to win people over is to create things of higher value.

Lord, I want to be righteous in Your eyes. How do I seek first Your kingdom? Yes, You mentioned, no sexual immorality, no hint of impurity. You said to rejoice, to be the light of the world. My finances, pleasure, excellence, my relationships, my health, and my relationship with You all have to be in order. This is how to create higher value. Oh, Lord, You are my God, and the One seeking my heart that I didn't even see. I give my heart to You. I will do service for You. I will not make those books and I will not go back to that world. I will turn down the animation project. I will rejoice despite my company closing. I will get my finances in order somehow. I will go on a quest to find what pleases me. I will make sure all I do is excellent. I will start exercising. And Lord, I will do all these because I love You.

Fill me and cover me with Your unfailing Love. Lead me. Be with me. And make me the person You wish me to be.

Lord, Martin seems really serious about me. Please don't let me break his heart. If You allow this, Lord, then let it proceed. Otherwise, save me from another heartbreak, please.

All this I pray, everything I lift to You. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

End of an Era

Ah, Lord,

You said that Your people will flourish like the cedars of Lebanon. And yet here I am on the verge of closing my company. But I know it gets worse before it gets better. And this is probably Your will. So Your will be done. Let me do what You want me to do. But please be with my people. Help them get better jobs. Make them happy in their new paths. And help me tie up everything. Help me pay off everything I need to. And give me time to think, to consider, to talk to You in more detail. Lord, I will meet Pastor Joey today. And while I know it's not always going to be what I wish. But I was thinking lang, would there be any opportunities to actually work with Victory. Work for You for a while, this close. I don't know what could happen in that meeting. It could be just a normal talk about discipleship. And he'd forget me na after that. But if You will it, Lord, can I work for Victory for a while? Can I make games for You? Can You give me a Kairos moment with Pastor Joey? I know all time is Your time. But I pray for that Kairos moment for strength.

Flourish

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (Psalm 92:12, 13 NIV)

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:8 NIV)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV)

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3, 4 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I prayed about how I can get close to You. How do I choose You, Lord? And You assured me that Your chosen will flourish. You will be with them in times of trial. And they will get through the trial well. But I have to choose. Choose life. Choose to follow You and to do that, I have to have no hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity or greed. And my sisters and I were just thinking of writing those kinds of books. Lord, I have no other stories. What must I do? I need new stories so that my mind doesn't stray. Yes, Lord, I will praise and thank You always. That I will do. Help me not to fall back into that world anymore. Actually I tried going back there and I wasn't as attracted to it as I used to be. May I not fall back there. But help me with my thoughts. What are pure, good, admirable thoughts I can think of? Bring them to mind, my God.

It is difficult to follow you, Lord. But I want to follow You. Be with me. Take my hand and lead me. I am so excited to meet Pastor Joey tomorrow. I really admire he man. Thank You for the opportunity. Please make me a good leader. Please make me a great person and a very good testimony.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

The Third Suitor

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance." (2 Thessalonians 3:5 NIV)

I asked what You wanted me to do about my struggling company.

And You said, "Rejoice."

Now, I asked who You wanted me to choose among my suitors.

And You said, "Me."

Lord,

Thank You for continuing to renew my mind each day. I will hold on to Your promise that You will perfect that which concerns me. That You will finish what You've started in me.

The fear is on the edges of my consciousness, Lord. Especially as another payroll period draws near. But You, o Lord, are my Shield and my Strength. You are my Savior and my Provider. Please be with me and provide for this company. And help me to rejoice in Your blessings. Help me to not abhor the trials for they themselves are also blessings from You.

As for men, forgive me. There weren't two people vying for my heart. There are three. And I had put You aside, my God, who are good. Forgive me. How do I choose You, Lord? What do I do to strengthen my relationship with You? How do I get closer to You, Lord?

Bless this day. I lift this day to You. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.