Thursday, June 21, 2012

Lessons from my own mouth

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence? (Psalm 139:1-7 NIV)

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts. (Psalm 139:23 NIV)

But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign Lord;
in you I take refuge—do not give me over to death. (Psalm 141:8 NIV)


Lord, I had thought You had saved me. But I come home and find out that this isn't so. I wanted to cry, Lord. To cry to You for disappointing me. Because I had trusted You to get me through this, and You didn't. Where were You, I asked. I thought You had plans for the company. You said You'd make it prosper. You said it will no longer be desolate. I couldn't see You. But I seek You. Forgive me, my God. I am being a brat again. But I thank You, Lord, for not remaining silent.

Where are You, I asked. Here, You said. You cannot flee from My Presence.

I am troubled, I said. I know your anxious thoughts, You said.

What must I do, I asked. Fix your eyes on Me, You answered. Take refuge in Me. I will not give you over to death.


My parents always told me, if you do one action and this result happens, if you do the action again, then don't expect the result to change. The situation has been recurring. And the one thing I realized that I haven't been changing is my reaction to the situation.

It's funny how just yesterday, I was the one telling a friend of mine how, in some circumstances, everyone involved may have had a fault. But at the same time, nobody is really to blame. Because we've done what we could. And we can't predict circumstance. And at the end of the day, even though we don't want to admit it, we are human, prone to make mistakes. And if we truly serve the God Who Is Love, then we must decide to love. Even when that means forgiving the one who disappointed us. And more often than not, that would be ourselves.

And here I am seeing that these very same words that have come out of my mouth are the same words that I have to take in and execute. The reason why I feel bad when bad things happen is primarily because I feel inefficient in my role as a leader.

Did I do everything I could? Yes, I did. Have I planned to better my processes? Yes, I have. But can I say that my reaction has been something that is pleasing to my God? No. My first reaction has always been to fret. To cry. To whine. Do I fix my eyes on God? Really? Truthfully, no. I turn away from God and frantically look for solutions.

But I have decided to change this reaction today. I will not fret. I will not be anxious. I will not cry. I will turn my eyes to my God. Even though I'm afraid, I will praise You, Lord. Simply because You are my God. And my God is good. My God is faithful. My God is present.

Monday, June 18, 2012

No fear of bad news

All creatures look to you to give them their food at the proper time. (Psalm 104:27 NIV)

They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. (Psalm 112:7 NIV)
Lord, help! My eyes are on You. The client isn't paying yet. And I'm beginning to panic and get angry. But You said You will provide at the proper time. I should have no fear of bad news. But how, Lord? Lord, here is my heart. I don't know what to do. But my eyes are on You.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Twelve Stones

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, (Psalm 107:2 NIV)

And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan. He said to the Israelites, "In the future when your descendants ask their parents, 'What do these stones mean?' tell them, 'Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.' For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. (Joshua 4:20-23 NIV)

In many industries, and especially in the game industry, I have found that it is extremely important to give credit (sometimes more than the money) where credit is due. That's usually why we find ourselves in the game industry in the first place: to be recognized for our ideas. To be acknowledged for what we've done. It feels good to be acknowledged. It makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. And it drives us to continue doing what we do, and to strive to be even better than we are. One of the best acknowledgements I've ever got was when one of my people came to me and told me, "Thank you for letting me work for Komikasi. You've made my dream come true. I'd like to grow old with this company." While my intent when I hired him was not to make his dream come true, but because I thought the company could use his skills, the comment made my day... my month, even. But then I realized, I, on the other hand, may have been too sparing on my acknowledgements. And so today, I'd like to first give credit and acknowledgment to the One who has made my dreams come true.

I grew up in Davao City. But ever since I was in fourth grade, I had imagined studying in Manila. My cousin had taken up Computer Science at De La Salle University. The course was new then. I liked computers. I was taking up computer in elementary to escape home economics. Since most of my cousins studied college in Manila, at the back of my head, I had always thought I would, too. But then by some strange turn of circumstance, my father's business folded, and he found himself buried in debt. Our house got foreclosed. We had to move to a smaller house. Things suddenly got so hard that my mother, my very sophisticated mother who you'd always see in pearls and Jackie O-style clothing, was repacking and selling dried fish on the side to augment to the family income! My dad couldn't get a job or start any new businesses. So both my parents agreed that he'd go to Manila and find opportunities there. So he did, with P200 in his wallet. A few months later, he found himself in the fish business buying and selling fish in Navotas... by the tons! By the end of the school year, we were afloat again and my whole family had moved to Manila. Talk about getting me there, huh?

So starting my second year in high school, I studied in Manila. After high school, I got in De La Salle University. What I really wanted to study was computer animation, but there was no such course in the Philippines then. So I decided I'd study in Japan after college. And everything seemed to go fine then... But then the Asian crisis hit. I was in my second year in college then. Dad was importing fish. So when the dollar shot up virtually overnight, we also lost money virtually overnight. I won't go into the details, but to cut the long story short, we lost all our money. But it didn't end there. The account officer handling my parents' time deposit savings ran off with the money. Because of all this, my dad got a stroke. So there we were, my mom was a stay at home mom at that time, I was in college, my three sisters were in an exclusive high school, my dyslexic brother had tutors... and our sole breadwinner, my dad, was incapacitated. Study in Japan? I didn't think I was even going to finish college! Don't even mention the stress everyone was having because we love our daddy! I don't know what I'd do if I lost my daddy then! But Someone up there loves me. He gave me a strong mother. And He gave my mother the opportunity to run our village country club, which led to her running the British School cafeteria for the next ten years, which got us through school. The contract ended just as my brother was graduating college. So, dream-come-true #1, I took up Computer Science at De La Salle University. And finishing it, I got a scholarship, which led to dream-come-true #2: I studied Computer Graphics for Games in Tokyo.

While I was in Japan, I took up a part-time job teaching English. That was when I realized I liked teaching. So a new dream got added to my list. I wished I would be able to teach at my university, or at The College of Saint Benilde, its sister school, once I got back to Manila. He granted me that. I taught Game design at BOTH schools for two years. Dream-come-true #3, check!

And finally, my biggest wish to date. In 2010, Komikasi got its first office on Pasong Tamo extension. Dream-come-true #4, check... But wait! I never thought I would actually need to sustain the company! But no worries, Big Daddy's got it covered. Back in 2010, we were a new company. #4.1: He gave us Anino to work with. Anino, the biggest local game company so far, chose to give us a chance. Then, when I was looking for more clients, (I did cold calls, can you believe it?), #4.2: I found out that an old classmate was the digital director of what had become the first ad agency our company worked with. Thanks to that, we were able to add their projects to our name, which led to us (again, another cold call on a day when I just wanted to curl up and cry because we had no more projects and it was December!) #4.3: getting our biggest client to date. It was amazing! We did our demo in January. Eleven months after that, I shot them an email asking if they had anything we could bid on (when you're getting desperate, you go straight to the point). And they said yes and told us to come for a bidding the very next day. We got the project, and we've been making apps for that brand ever since.

On top of that, He also gave me great people who have the skill as well as the heart. There is truth serum sprayed in the office, which makes interviewees spill things they normally won't in an interview but is very useful for us in determining if they are a match to the company. And generally little unexplainable things that save us, like how the client's host server would go down for maintenance when we were all already too tired to do overtime. Or when a client who hasn't been paying for months for Talecraft decks they'd sold suddenly pays the accumulated amount the day before payroll. Or when a program would just magically work (usually after our lead is desperate enough to pray. I'm assuming he's praying. Otherwise, he's just crouching before the computer). And in July 2012, Komikasi will be moving to its new office, which is three times bigger than the one we're leaving. Three times bigger in two years. Who'd have thought.

So to Him, who gives exceeding abundantly above anything I could ever wish for, thank You, happy Fathers' day, and to You be the glory forever.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Raise the Banner

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12 NIV)

This verse came out twice today. Once in church (it was this Sunday's preaching), and another during my evening quiet time. Lord, this must be something You wish me to take to heart. I know You already told me something like this not so long ago. You said:

Go through, go through the gates; prepare ye the way of the people; cast up, cast up the highway; gather up the stones; lift up a standard for the people. (Isaiah 62:10)

Go, You said. Prepare the way. Prepare for battle. And lift up a standard, a flag, a symbol for the people. Set an example, You said. Lord, I want to. Know my heart, Lord. I want to do what You want me to. So, Lord, I submit myself to You. Train my tongue, Lord, my wayward tongue. Let roses and diamonds come out of my mouth instead of snakes, frogs and sharp things. Teach me to speak encouragement. Teach me to speak life. Teach me to behave as You would have a child of Yours behave. I am a brat, Lord. But I don't want to remain that way. Teach me to conduct myself in love, in faith, and in life. Love. Fill my heart with love. Enough of the bitterness. Enough of the feeling of being deceived. Erase those, Lord. And fill me with love, that the meditations of my heart and the words that come out of my mouth will be pleasing to You, my Lord and my God. Strengthen my faith, Lord. I know my constant worrying is a sign of my lack of faith. If I still haven't learned this all this time, Lord, forgive me. But I am making a conscious decision now to trust in You. Teach my heart to follow and to let go of my doubts. The doubts are unfounded. You've always saved me. Why would I be anxious? I have no answer to that, Lord. And purity. I know You don't just mean sexual purity. For even if I don't have any lustful thoughts at the moment, I know my thoughts are far from pure. They are tainted with bitterness, anger, and a bit of fear. Lord, free me from the shackles I myself have been putting on. And teach me to stand, to raise up that standard, and set an example.

Oh and, Lord, thank You for still calling me young.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Get Your Own Goat

Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, "My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:27-31 NIV) "The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!' "'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.'" (Luke 15:28-32 NIV)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Wishes: Word Gifts

It has been said that death and life are in the power of the tongue. And I believe that. I have believed that ever since I was young. To me, that was why people chanted incantations to cast a spell. Words have power. They have a kind of magic in them. They have the ability to build a person or destroy them, not just by consequence of who you tell them to. But by the very fact that it was uttered.

My birthday has just passed. And I spent it doing nothing but bum at home. Well, my family had the obligatory dinner out, but that's about it. I didn't really do anything big for my birthday this year. And when my friend found out about it, he thought it a crime! I know it's good to celebrate the year. And I am very grateful for the year I had, and for a new year of my life. But gifts are not really that much of a big deal to me. Neither are parties.

So what would I want to receive? How about word gifts? Wish something for me. It's only cheap if you don't mean it. If you truly mean it, and would actually take the time out to pray to God, and really wish in your heart for me to receive it this year, then I think it's a wonderful gift. Wish me love. Wish me happiness. Wish my company growth and protection. Wish me stronger friendships. Wish me the feeling of awe. Wish me adventure. Wish me excitement. Wish me the gift of beauty and song. Something. Wish it because you really want me to receive it, and not because it sounds good to wish it. Wish me well. Wish me good. A good wish is enough for me.

Family Conversations: RH and Teen Pregnancies

My mother, my sisters and I talking about the RH Bill, and teen and unwanted pregnancies.

Maita: Telling the people they shouldn't do it doesn't make them not do it.
Marie: Masarap ang bawal.
Maita: Yeah, the more you tell them no, the more they'd want to do it.
Marie: They should be like the Dutch. They made prostitution legal and so it's not a big deal anymore.
Mom: I'm against that, Mar.
Marie: Just saying.
Maita: Anyway, just setting rules won't fix anything.
Me: You need to get to the root of the problem.
Marie: Penises.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Wanted: Assistant

I'm a member of the Paranaque Club of Soroptimist International (SI) - Philippine Region. For those who are not familiar with the club, Soroptimist is an international volunteer organization for business and professional women. In the Philippines, Soroptimist is composed of twelve regions and eighty clubs, with about 2,000 members.

The organization's thrust this year is: Live your Dreams.

And last month, I was inducted President of the SI-Paranaque Club. I've got some really useful and fun plans for the club, but, because of my business, I couldn't do it alone. So, I'm looking for an assistant. Here are the details:

This is a part-time position. I probably just need to see you around once a week if we have no events coming up. 
Salary: Php5,000/month 
Qualifications:
  • At least College level (student is okay)
  • Speaks and writes good English
  • Confident and pleasant
  • Responsible
  • Can function with minimal supervision
  • Can handle his/her time well (wouldn't want to suddenly have you missing when school or your primary work gets busy)
  • Writing skills a BIG plus
Main Responsibilities:
  • Updating of Blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr of the club and its projects
  • Blogging about club events
  • Making calls and follow-ups

If you're interested, email me @ lizlu . com. Send cover letter and resume, preferably in the body of the email, not as an attachment. Thank you and looking forward to hear from you soon!

Liz

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Family Conversations: The Hunchback of Notre Dame

We were in the car, on the way to High Street for my sister's Fashion Show. Mom and Dad were in front talking about government, roads and construction. The sibs and I were at the back talking about the original versions of fairy tales and other stories.

Marie: Frollo was the Archbishop in the original story. He died. Quasimodo killed him.
Pat: And Esmeralda?
Me: She died, too. With Quasimodo.
Pat: How did they die?
Marie: I'm not sure. Quasimodo fell off the tower, I think.
Dad: The stone railing gave way and he fell. The contractors were cutting cost and so they saved up on the cement.