Prisoner of Christ

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 NIV)

As one who has decided to follow Christ, I need to practice humility. I think the disappointments I feel are caused by my pride. I see myself highly, someone good at what she does, and beautiful. And I think that I deserve the best in life, and the best people. I am not humble at all, nor am I gentle. At the back of my mind, I don't want to work for Daddy because it isn't my show. How can you be known when you're just running an accounting firm? Also, I have to submit to a higher authority if I work for Dad. If I am humble, I should see this as a good opportunity to rest. I should put my Dad's and my family's finances over my need for freedom. I have to be gentle, not abrasive. I have to be patient, and forbearing. I am so impatient with my mother. But I don't want to be. I know my mom has certain reactions that irk me. But my reactions are not so good, either. Lord, please, help me be kind to my mom. I want a very good relationship with my mom.

Thank You, Lord, for the revelations. Please infuse me with Your wisdom and strength so that I may have the power to change my life.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Impossible

I was listening to a podcast by Elevation Church. And this statement struck me: "Jesus has a tendency to tell the lame to walk and the dead to rise." And the joyless to rejoice, I thought. It was something that has been happening to me. I had been without joy in a long while. I wasn't particularly depressed, but I just didn't have joy in me. And I prayed long about it, asking God to fill me with joy. And then He answered me. He told me to rejoice. "Rejoice! Rejoice in every circumstance. Rejoice, and I say again, rejoice!"

The same principle applies to finances and tithing. "Lord, I have no money." "Give." If that's the case, then it also follows that He'll also tell the one whose heart is dead, to love.

Jesus has a tendency to tell the lame to walk and the dead to rise.

And the one who has none, to give.

And the joyless, to rejoice.

And the dead of heart, to love.

More Wisdom

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:17, 18 NIV)

Lord,

Is it selfish ambition that drives me to need to fly? Why do I need to escape? What am I escaping from? Lord, I really need to make those predecisions soon. I'm still so affected when my mother and brother shoot me down. I love them, but I don't know why they shoot me down. I don't think they just want me to feel bad. But Pat always sees the problems, and Mom so easily rejects anything she doesn't want with no regard to my feelings. Sometimes, her reasons are not even valid. She just prefers something else.

I should not let these affect me. These are their opinions and people are entitled to them. I shouldn't keep exploding.

Also, Lord, today is when I tell my boys. Give me the wisdom to say this properly, with the compassion and kindness to not make it too hard on them.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Crazy Prayers

Lord,

My Refuge and my Strength. You are the Doer of the impossible. You are the Healer od broken hearts. Lord, hear my plea. Hear my cry. And grant me my impossible prayer. Let none of them clip my wings, Lord. Let none of them tie me down, Lord. You have given me the desire for significance and independence. Lord, why are they running my life? Let them see that I am old enough. But give me the ability to show them that I can be sufficient without my parents' help. But if You will me to stay, Lord, then take away the feeling I have of being trapped. Free me, my God. And make me smile again.

Lord, please, I implore You in Jesus' Name. Please turn to me, my God. Amen.

Wisdom

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5 NIV)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 NIV)

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:5, 6 NIV)

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)

Dear Lord,

My God and my Protector, may Your Kingdom Come and may Your will be done. May the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love. Show me the way I should go.

Lord, today, I woke up to the word Wisdom. Lord, I pray, grant me wisdom. I am about to close my studio. What do You wish me to do instead? Martin is also texting very frequently now. How do You want me to proceed? I would like to live in a way that is pleasing to You. But I have lost my way, Lord. I found out about WWOOF last night and Workaway. I would like to try them out. But what do You say about it, Lord? I do still have responsibilities here. And I actually don't have an idea how to pay for all the debts yet. But I want to pay off all the debts and live a life that displays the higher values. Lord, I want to live a life that You would be happy with. I stumbled again last night. In my actions and in my words. Forgive me. But I will try again. With You as my strength, I know I will get there. For I know You will complete what You started in me. I know You've tarted renewing my mind and taking off certain desires. It's taking a while, but love is patient and You love me so I know You won't give up on me. And therefore, I do not doubt that You will enlighten me and give me wisdom and make clear to me what You wish me to do, where You wish me to go.

Thank You for today, and thank You for the people who love me. Call Martin and Andro to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Value-based World

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life ? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:24-34 NIV)

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:34 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Thank You for letting me meet Pastor Joey. His insights are very valuable. He said we live in a values-based world, and the only way to win people over is to create things of higher value.

Lord, I want to be righteous in Your eyes. How do I seek first Your kingdom? Yes, You mentioned, no sexual immorality, no hint of impurity. You said to rejoice, to be the light of the world. My finances, pleasure, excellence, my relationships, my health, and my relationship with You all have to be in order. This is how to create higher value. Oh, Lord, You are my God, and the One seeking my heart that I didn't even see. I give my heart to You. I will do service for You. I will not make those books and I will not go back to that world. I will turn down the animation project. I will rejoice despite my company closing. I will get my finances in order somehow. I will go on a quest to find what pleases me. I will make sure all I do is excellent. I will start exercising. And Lord, I will do all these because I love You.

Fill me and cover me with Your unfailing Love. Lead me. Be with me. And make me the person You wish me to be.

Lord, Martin seems really serious about me. Please don't let me break his heart. If You allow this, Lord, then let it proceed. Otherwise, save me from another heartbreak, please.

All this I pray, everything I lift to You. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

End of an Era

Ah, Lord,

You said that Your people will flourish like the cedars of Lebanon. And yet here I am on the verge of closing my company. But I know it gets worse before it gets better. And this is probably Your will. So Your will be done. Let me do what You want me to do. But please be with my people. Help them get better jobs. Make them happy in their new paths. And help me tie up everything. Help me pay off everything I need to. And give me time to think, to consider, to talk to You in more detail. Lord, I will meet Pastor Joey today. And while I know it's not always going to be what I wish. But I was thinking lang, would there be any opportunities to actually work with Victory. Work for You for a while, this close. I don't know what could happen in that meeting. It could be just a normal talk about discipleship. And he'd forget me na after that. But if You will it, Lord, can I work for Victory for a while? Can I make games for You? Can You give me a Kairos moment with Pastor Joey? I know all time is Your time. But I pray for that Kairos moment for strength.

Flourish

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. (Psalm 92:12, 13 NIV)

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:8 NIV)

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:2 NIV)

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live (Deuteronomy 30:19 NIV)

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. (Ephesians 5:3, 4 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I prayed about how I can get close to You. How do I choose You, Lord? And You assured me that Your chosen will flourish. You will be with them in times of trial. And they will get through the trial well. But I have to choose. Choose life. Choose to follow You and to do that, I have to have no hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity or greed. And my sisters and I were just thinking of writing those kinds of books. Lord, I have no other stories. What must I do? I need new stories so that my mind doesn't stray. Yes, Lord, I will praise and thank You always. That I will do. Help me not to fall back into that world anymore. Actually I tried going back there and I wasn't as attracted to it as I used to be. May I not fall back there. But help me with my thoughts. What are pure, good, admirable thoughts I can think of? Bring them to mind, my God.

It is difficult to follow you, Lord. But I want to follow You. Be with me. Take my hand and lead me. I am so excited to meet Pastor Joey tomorrow. I really admire he man. Thank You for the opportunity. Please make me a good leader. Please make me a great person and a very good testimony.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

The Third Suitor

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance." (2 Thessalonians 3:5 NIV)

I asked what You wanted me to do about my struggling company.

And You said, "Rejoice."

Now, I asked who You wanted me to choose among my suitors.

And You said, "Me."

Lord,

Thank You for continuing to renew my mind each day. I will hold on to Your promise that You will perfect that which concerns me. That You will finish what You've started in me.

The fear is on the edges of my consciousness, Lord. Especially as another payroll period draws near. But You, o Lord, are my Shield and my Strength. You are my Savior and my Provider. Please be with me and provide for this company. And help me to rejoice in Your blessings. Help me to not abhor the trials for they themselves are also blessings from You.

As for men, forgive me. There weren't two people vying for my heart. There are three. And I had put You aside, my God, who are good. Forgive me. How do I choose You, Lord? What do I do to strengthen my relationship with You? How do I get closer to You, Lord?

Bless this day. I lift this day to You. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Men

Lord,

My God and my Redeemer, my Father and my Protector. May Your Kingdom come. May Your will be done.

Lord, please speak to me. Be not silent in this matter for I need Your guidance and wisdom. What must I do with Martin, Lord? May I continue to have coffee and breakfast with him. Or am I being unfair to him if I do that? Teach me to be decisive, Lord. I don't want to settle, Lord. I just need a word from You, my God. That You remember me in this matter. That You wouldn't show me things I like and then deny me of them. I loved the feeling of being attracted to someone who loved me. I have greatly admired a friend's expressiveness. I have greatly admired a man's decisiveness and power. Are these things I shouldn't admire. Are these things I shouldn't look for in a man? Lord, guide me. I don't know what should or shouldn't be anymore. I need You, my God. Be not far from me. Speak to me. Even just an assurance that You have not forgotten. Give me a promise to hold on to. Lord, please, I need You.

I pray for my family's joy and protection, and for the salvation of Martin and Andro. I pray for compassion as I let go of one of my guys. Give me strength, my God. And align my heart to Your will.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

World I Had Left

"The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” " (Genesis 2:23 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I have sinned against You. I thought it would be good to write to make money so we could travel this year. But the writing meant I had to go back into the world I had left. I thought it was the only way I could make money quickly to be able to travel this year. Forgive my lack of trust in You. Lord, I pray, I really want to go to the RT Book Convention this year. If You would allow me, Lord, fund me. Provide for me and my sisters so that we can go.

Lord, I spoke to Brian the other day. And You made me realize what I had forgotten. Lord, what do You want me to be known for? Speak to me, Lord, and help me be the best person I can be.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Morning Prayer

Dear God,

You are my Lord, my Savior, and my Hiding Place. Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go for to You I lift up my soul.

I pray for the joy and safety of my family, for the salvation of Andro and Martin, and for my people to be okay. I also pray that You would keep and protect the one You have chosen for me. Fix him as You have been fixing me. And when we're ready, Lord, open my eyes to see him.

I thank You for helping me with payroll yesterday. Thank You I was able to borrow. Lord, please infuse me with resources. I still have to pay my Tita. Bless the meetings we have today. May they be successful and productive.

This day, Lord, is the day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, Lord. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Humbly I Approach

Good morning, dear Lord,

May the thoughts in my mind and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, my Lord and my God. Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, and sustain me in my resolve to rejoice and be glad in this day You have made.

Thank You for the meetings. Thank You for letting me see my friends. Lord, I pray for the protection of my family and friends, and the salvation of Andro and Martin. I pray for my people, and I pray for my heart. Remove this heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh.

Lord, forgive me. I was arrogant. But here I come before You. I humbly offer You my heart, not out of frustration but because You are my God, and I offer my heart as a humble sacrifice. Teach me to be what You want me to be. I will stay here if You want me to. But I'm not very perceptive when it comes to matters of the heart, it seems, so please coach me so that I learn the lessons. Becuase I can't learn it on my own. I need guidance, my God. And I need strength. I offer also this little company You have given me. I have become a slave to it. But I don't want to be, Lord. Komikasi has become my idol. Break my idolizing my company, Lord. Let it not have control over me, for my only Master is You.

I lift this day to You, my God. May Your kingdom come and may Your will be done. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Pruning

Dear God,

Good morning! I lift this day to You. May the thoughts on my mind and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to You. This day is the day You have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Lord, I pray for the protection and joy of my family, and the salvation of Martin and Andro and all my people at Komikasi. I pray for provision for Komikasi. And I pray for new projects and clients. Thank You, Lord, for the new bidding from Saatchi, and for the meetings today. Lord, please sustain us. Sustain us as we plant seeds. Sustain us until harvest because our storehouse has run dry. Give me strength today as I go about planting seeds. And fill my heart with joy in the knowledge and remembrance that You are with me.

Lord, I listened to Pastor Steven Furtick yesterday. He talked about seasons and not coveting someone else's season. And that every season has it's challenges and rewards. I pray for a change of lens, Lord. Make me see the goodness of the season. I know You're always there. And I don't need a God moment to assure me that You are in control. But I do pray for a God moment, just to strengthen me, Lord. There will be pruning. And I mustn't despise the challenges for they are indications of blessings. I have financial problems with my company right now becuase I have a company. Pastor Joey also spoke about fighting the good fight, Lord. And we need to continue fighting the good fight of faith. And one of them said it matters what you say about your circumstance. I want to be excited, Lord. I want to enjoy my current season despite the lack of financial resources. But I need Your help, my God. I don't want to ask Daddy for money anymore. Give me joy. And please save this company, Lord, if You will it.

I pray for the man You choose for me. If it's Martin, Lord, let me know for sure. Give me wisdom, Lord. And Lord, if it's him, please cause my heart to fall in love. But if it's not him, Lord, then protect us. I don't want to hurt him, Lord.

I lift this day to You, my God! Thank You for the season and the challenges. Thank You for the day. May Your will be done in everything. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Salvation

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38 NIV)

"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother, To God’s holy people in Colossae, the faithful brothers and sisters in Christ: Grace and peace to you from God our Father. We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace." (Colossians 1:1-6 NIV)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I want to be righteous in Your sight. My fear and anxiety is sin against You, for that shows my lack of faith and trust in You. I offer You my heart and my life once more, Lord. And I pray that You spark joy in me so that I may rejoice in every and any circumstance, and see the trials as the gifts that they are.

Lord, I pray for the salvation of Andro and Martin and all the men who come to me. Andro is a good man with a strong sense of justice. His family needs You, Lord. May his sister's trials bring her to You, Lord. And I don't know what could possibly prompt Andro to seek You, but You are a God of miracles and great things. Please save the man. Whether You will him for me or not, please save this man who I look up to. Save also Martin. I know Tita Vilmy would like him to change religion. But I think religion doesn't matter. What matters is he know You, he seeks You, and he will grow in You. He is a good man, Lord. Save him and call him to You. Let his relationship with You be strong.

I pray for the man You choose for me. Lord, I pray, I submit to Your will. I desire someone for the traits he possess. But Lord, if he isn't the one for me, then Your will be done. Give me the one You choose. I need someone I am attracted to intellectually and romantically. I need someone financially capable. I need someone I can admire. But most of all, Lord, I need someone with Your blessing. Because I wish for a good family, Lord. A happy, loving and caring family intoxicated with love and solid in our foundation and belief in You. I lift to You my choice of a life partner. You know who is best. Protect me and bless me in this aspect of life, Lord. I lift my heart to You. Let me know, Lord, let me know clearly who You want for me. And whoever You choose, I will love and build up and encourage.

I haven't been a very good testimony. I mean, even in front of my GDAP peers! I'm not the prosperous, kind, gentle and principled Christian I'd like to be. Lord, I want to be a good testimony. I need to change my mindset and stop complaining and making excuses. Give me strength. Give me a buddy to help me change. 

I also pray, Lord, for guidance. Is it time to close my company? Are the trials an itch on the nose to force me to stretch? Or have I been swallowed? Have I been enslaved by payroll? I am, Lord. That much I know, I am a slave to payroll and just keeping my company afloat. I pray for enlightenment. I want to change the world, Lord, and make it a better place. I don't want to just keep making apps for brands. I want to have a point in what I do. And that's the problem with Komikasi right now. Lord, guide me. Tell me what to do. Is it right that I'm breaking them off? Is it alright if I let us join Ideaspace?

Lord, break me free. I do not want to be a slave to money. Set me free, Lord. But give me wisdom. May I not dissolve Komikasi prematurely. Talk to me, Lord. I know You sent me Tita Vilmy for a reason. To remind me of You. To remind me to pray for the salvation of people, especially those dear to me. And to pray for Your will in my choice of a husband. And also to remind me that it's not my choice, it's Yours because my heart is no longer mine but Yours. Give it to who You choose, Lord. I have lifted my heart to You. Same goes for my company. I have offered it to You three years ago. And three years ago, You told me to stay. What about now, Lord? Should I try to make Komikasi work? I know it in my heart, Lord, that I need to change Komikasi somehow. Because it is not in Your will that I be a slave to money. And I don't want to be. If I reach inside me to see what I need to do, I actually don't know what to do. If I let go of even half of my people, my overhead will decrease by about 25%. Half of my overhead goes to payroll. A quarter goes to rent and other bills. And the last quarter goes to loans.

Okay, letting go of my people is not going to significantly decrease my need. Shutting down the office will take away 75%. The other quarter needs to be paid off whether Komikasi exists or not. But I'm tied with rent until June, Internet for the next two years but I think we can pre-terminate, and we're maintaining a system until I think August. I think I feel helpless because I've deviated too much. We need to go back to making games, even outsource. Then in that case, we need to reach out to the companies abroad.

Be with me, my God. Give me wisdom and strength and love. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Shaken

"Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes. They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor, their righteousness endures forever; their horn will be lifted high in honor." (Psalm 112:6-9 NIV)

Lord,

I am so not ready. My heart is not ready for marriage. My heart is not ready for leadership. I am afraid and anxious about my finances again. I am shaken, Lord. And I know that is sin against You. Where is my faith? You have saved me before but here I am, unsure if You will save me this time. I was selfish last night, throwing a tantrum because I didn't know if You cared. Or if You did, I didn't even know what to do. All I needed was a word form You but You have remained silent. And I know I said Your will be done, but here I am, not even able to handle it. Forgive me. I want to declare that Your will be done and be joyful and accepting of what Your will is. But Your will is hard, Lord. Send me someone who could help me. Make my heart steadfast, Lord. Let me not be shaken. For the sake of Your glory, Lord, teach me to be a good testimony. I don't know how to fight this darkness on my own. I am weak. See? I wasn't even able to go on the week-long fast. Forgive me, Lord. I need to stop whining. Change my mindset. Let me see that this is just money. If the company closes, it closes. My people will be fine. But Lord, I do pray. I pray fervently for help. Save me, my God. Do not tarry. Quiet my heart.

Today, I will resolve to not complain. I will resolve to be joyful. I will do my best to find ways to make money for Komikasi, but I will trust You, my God, that You will save me. Be my Strength.

This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

My One Word

Dear Lord,

I was praying for one word to focus on this year. At first, I thought it was "Strength." Pastor Patrick prophesied it in church that to someone, this is relevant this year. And I thought this was it. I read my Bible and saw the word strength many times. Even a while ago when I was reading Nehemiah, there was talk of strength. But also on the other hand, if I quiet myself and think about what touched my heart strings over the Christmas season and think about what caught my interest throughout last year, it's addressing loneliness. It's "Compassion." Last night, I was talking to Pat about Kiara and Joie, and how we need to reach out to them. I told Pat how it's not my style to just tell people I'm there for them, and how if other people talk about business in the guise of personal stuff, mine would probably be personal stuff in the guise of business. Because I don't know how to do this. This is new to me, reaching out to others.

I feel like "Strength" is the word if I listen to my head and circumstance. And when You repeat it in Your Word, it means something right? "Compassion" is what my heart says. But I don't read it in my devotionals these days. Or have I not been paying attention? Or am I choosing compassion becuase I am afraid of what You'll let me go through if it's strength? Lord, I am confused. I know I'm probably thinking about this too much but then I want to get it right. Lord, enlighten me and tell me what You want me to focus on.

Lord, I pray, we're back to work, and we're back to MRM being so difficult to collect from. Please help us. We rely on You from strength to strength, Lord. Save us once again. 

This year, I will meet people and be kind to them. And I will push Komikasi to the best of the abilities You have given me, my God. But the horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with You, Lord. I will do my best. May your will be done.

I pray for my family. I pray for protection, peace and joy for us. I pray for Joie and Kiara and all the other lonely and weeping hearts out there. Be their peace. Be their refuge. And send me, Lord. Tell me how to reach out to them. I pray for the people of Komikasi. May this year be productive and exciting for all of us. This we pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Strain Towards What is Ahead

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13, 14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Good morning! First Sunday of the year. Dear Lord, I pray for that one word, that one theme I need to focus on this year. I've been trying to make a plan in my little journal. But I don't think it can be sustained. Everything is still a bit of a jumble in my mind. Maybe I'll make a journal app. But what I wanted to do was a journal that would also serve as a Life Group material for people. First, it would talk about taking our thoughts captive. So, it's about setting what to think of. And creating a spoken declaration to ward off the darkness. Next, it's talking about what makes us happy. In my walk with You, I have learned that joy, like love, is an action word. It is not an outcome or state. It is a verb, something to actively do. So, for happiness, we first define what makes us happy. What awes us. And we actively pursue it. Then there's budgeting. It's good to know how much we have and how much we alot to things so we do not overspend or feel deprived. Here, we set what we want to achieve for the year and start saving up for it early on. And here's where we set sidelines and how we can earn extra income. Then there's the relationships. We spend so much time waiting for people to appear in our life. That we tend to forget that we have so many people in our lives we never really pay much attention to. We ask for friends. We ask for people we can hang out with. And we wait, when we have like a thousand friends on Facebook. Here, we set coffees. Every week, we have coffee with a person. Here's when we also set a mentor or be a mentor to someone. And maybe plan throwing parties. Next is exercise. We set exercise regimens and find buddies. Maybe decide to join a class. Next, we set learning. What do we learn this year? Do we learn blogging? Do we learn to cook that one mean dish? Then there's the makeover and grooming. Lord, I have so many ideas. But what to do with them? Do I make a book? I'd like to try this with my friends. Oh, yes, and there's the heart thing where we try to see the month in rose-colored glasses and be kind and freak everybody out. Ah, Lord. Teach me. Let me be useful to You and my fellow man.

Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

For the Year

Dear Lord,

I was thinking this year, I'd like to do something. Aside from trying to stabilize Komikasi and targeting small and medium businesses and getting a financier for some of my projects, I'd like to start a life group. Maybe a once-a-month thing where all my girl friends can get together and talk about, well, life. I was thinking, January will be about setting goals. February is all about finances. March is about relationships. I'd like to make the materials today. It's a way of connecting, too. What do You think, Lord? Am I ready to start my own group? Enlighten me, Lord. I will do this if You give me your blessing. Otherwise, set me to do something else. Let me help, Lord.

In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Wait for The Lord

"The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. 

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. 

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 

Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 

Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." 

(Psalm 27:1-14 NIV)

Dear Lord,

Good morning. Thank You for the good start of the year. Thank You for the safe trip back. Lord, I pray, give me one word to focus on for the year. One word to concentrate on so I don't get overwhelmed. One word that You want me to really think about and work on. Last year, You've taught me about rejoicing in whatever circumstance You put me in. I wasn't able to do it very well. Even during the Christmas vacation, I was ungrateful and cruel. Lord, I don't want to be like that. I want to be with my family and smile and be nice and love them because I do love them. I'm just very impatient with them. I'm very impatient with my mom. I'm so very sorry. I want my mom to be happy. How, Lord? And how do I not be so impatient with her? I want to get away from Jade all the time because I feel likes he does nothing but put me down. But on the other hand, I think she's like that because she feels unloved. She feels that I don't want to be around her. Paano ba 'to, Lord? I don't know how to fix this because I've already reacted before I could stop myself. But this year, Lord, I resolve to not complain. I resolve to be kinder. And I resolve to rejoice, for that is Your will. Because You will teach me Your ways. And I will see Your goodness in the land of the living. And I will wait for You have told me so. And You've told me to be strong and take heart. I will do my best, Lord, to take heart. Have courage. Have courage to be happy.

Lord, I lift my heart to You. I still wish that I would find the right man to marry soon. Jade says I'm forcing myself to like Martin. And I know I am. I know at the back of my mind, I think I'm too old and I need to decide from the choices I'm given. And though I like Andro, Martin seems to be a more long-term choice. The only problem is I'm really not attracted to Martin. My heart doesn't beat for him. And Andro naman doesn't seem to be interested in me that way. But Martin is a good man and I think he can make a girl happy. I don't like me indecisive. People tend to get hurt. Lord, I lift this to You. I don't know what to do.

Lord, I pray for that one word, the theme for my year. Enlighten me, Lord. Is it courage? Is it rejoicing? Enlighten me and make it very clear what You want me to focus on. Enlighten me. This I pray, my God and and my Savior. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.