Dear Lord,
Thank You for a family who loves me.
Lord, this darkness has been persistent. It has been eating at me for the past three years. Please take me out of the dark, Lord. I know, the tomb is open and I'm the one who's not coming out of it. But I seem to have forgotten how. I have shut off. I have shut off pleasure after I had been hurt. I have shut off dreams after the death of my own dreams. I say I have moved on but my heart is hole-ridden. My world is colorless. I no longer hurt, Lord, but then I no longer feel, Lord. In hard times, I am angry. In good times, I am indifferent.
Lord, I have a request. I have a prayer, a favor to ask. Lord, give me joy in my heart. I know this is in line with Your will. You've been telling me to rejoice. But my heart just has no energy to truly smile. You tell me to rejoice, Lord. Then, please, light the spark. Maybe I've never truly been joyful when I was young. My default face was never a smiling one.
Lord, I also thank You for the opportunity with Bulkypix. I pray for Your presence and blessing in this endeavor. There's also Eyetem, Epic Nomz, Loupe, Combi, Eclipse and Sum-It, products we've been developing, Lord. Thank You for helping us, Lord, and for sending us OJTers who actually finish things. Lord, give me the positive outlook to appreciate these. Excite me once more, Lord. Wake my heart. Open my eyes. Take my hand and take me out of the grave I'm in. I can't seem to stand up and walk out on my own. Let my people see. Let my family see that I appreciate and enjoy them for You have given them to me. I'm so ungrateful. But I don't want to be. Take me out of the dark, my Lord. I don't want to be there.
And I will wait. For You have told me to wait. Wait for You for You are faithful. I will wait, Lord. For You are my God. I am Yours created for Your pleasure and purposes. Amen.
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