Forgive me. I succumbed to the darkness and spoke of ill of You, claiming I don't know if You'll save me or not, when You've always saved me. I don't understand myself, Lord. I don't think it's about the money per se. But there's something wrong with me. Is it the feeling of the lack of control, Lord. I know I should surrender control to You, for You who has promised is faithful. You're not usually early, but You're never late. You have Your timing. Lord, You've given me so much. Loyal people. A family who loves me. Why am I speaking death to myself? My mouth is an open grave, Lord. I don't know what to think, Lord. Things are going well, lord. Why am I feeling bad? This has nothing to do with my finances, I think. But I feel cluttered. I feel overwhelmed with what is expected of me. But I shouldn't be. It's not that big. I have punished myself somehow that I don't do anything for fun anymore.
Lord, forgive me. Forgive this malicious tongue and heart. Please don't punish me. Turn not away from me. Be my God, still. And forgive me, Father. I am so sorry. Let me try to present my body once more as a holy and living sacrifice to You. I will rejoice today, Lord, as You've commanded. I will try again, Lord. Please cast away the spirit of darkness from my heart. Shine Your light in my heart that my joy may be complete.
This, I humbly pray in the Name of Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
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