Dearest God,
You are my Lord, my savior, and my stronghold. You are my hiding place, my protector, and my light. You, my Lord, are my loving heavenly Father. You take care of me. And You love me. Thank You. Tomorrow, we celebrate the human birth of Your Son, who You didn't withhold from us. And if even Jesus You didn't hold back from us, then what else could You possibly not give us. You are a generous God. And patient, and faithful, and forgiving. See, Lord, I am but a sinner. You give me ways out, but I seldom ever take it. I have failed You miserably, but You still love me. Your Son still died for me. You still saved me. Lord, I ask for forgiveness. And I ask for Your guidance. I want to be pleasing to You. And may I always be, Lord,
Yours truly,
Your raven
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
My Ideal Man
I was chatting with a friend yesterday. And he asked me why I was still single. And I told him it was because I haven't found the right man yet. And so he asked me what my ideal man was. And it made me realize that my ideal man seemed to be a dying breed.
Well, of course, there are the basics. God-fearing man. Financially capable of supporting me and our would-be family. Would never raise a hand against women. Not into drugs or excessive alcohol. A one-woman man. Single. Any of these items is false and he's out of the running.
Then there are secondary musts and preferences. He has to be reliable. He has to be close to his family. Loving. Stable. I prefer an intellectual. A man who loves to travel. Loves to read. A true gentleman.
Then over the years, more were added. I love big families so, I prefer a man from a big clan. I need him to like children because I want some of my own some day. I'd like someone who could surprise me. Someone with a positive outlook on life.
I found that I loved words. And so I liked men who were eloquent, who were witty, and who were confident with their words. I also learned that I have a soft spot for flirts. No, not playboys. I despise guys who play with hearts, and I don't like little boys (and this has nothing to do with age). But men who are not afraid of giving you compliments, who are confident in the way they approach you, and who would do things to make you feel a little more special than the rest. Confidence is really attractive to me. I love it when men carry themselves well. I love it when they're sure of what they want. I love it when they're passionate about something. And I love it when they relentlessly pursue it.
Then I fell in love, and, other than the basics, the whole list just went out the window. Then my heart got broken, and I learned about what I really wanted and needed in a man.
I need them to be courageous. I need them to be persistent. I need them not to give up so easily because life will put you through things and I need someone who would be there with me to go through all the storms. I need a man who is happy. I need a man who has a positive outlook in life, who would be confident that together, we could take on anything. And with God, we would never fail. I need a man who would really love me, and not just "kinda like" me. Decisive. Knows what he wants. Generous, not just in resources, but also in time and words. That is the man I'm looking for.
I find myself lamenting the lack of men like these. I have a lot of male friends and acquaintances. And the statuses some of them post on their Facebook walls just sadden me. They are afraid. Their posts go like, "Don't expect promises to be kept. You'll only be disappointed." or "Don't care about her too much, you'll just end up hurt." My first guy even went as far as telling me, "Let's not celebrate monthly anniversaries. One of these days, one of us will just end up disappointing the other." Why are they so afraid? Granted, they've been hurt. But they are men! No, I'm not trying to put you down. On the contrary, I believe in your inherent strength. I apologize for what the womenfolk have done to some of you. Some of us truly are unfeeling. And some of us are really mean and immature. But some of us are probably just so in love with you and we don't know how to handle it. Whatever we put you through, I apologize profusely. But please, for your sake and the sake of the right woman for you, don't let the experience destroy you. Don't let the hurt consume you. Don't let bitterness take hold of your heart. Do not give up so easily. And don't let the pain make you afraid.
Ah, God! Show me that there are brave men in my generation still. My heart bleeds for the loss. Lord, You know clearly how much this grieves me.
Well, of course, there are the basics. God-fearing man. Financially capable of supporting me and our would-be family. Would never raise a hand against women. Not into drugs or excessive alcohol. A one-woman man. Single. Any of these items is false and he's out of the running.
Then there are secondary musts and preferences. He has to be reliable. He has to be close to his family. Loving. Stable. I prefer an intellectual. A man who loves to travel. Loves to read. A true gentleman.
Then over the years, more were added. I love big families so, I prefer a man from a big clan. I need him to like children because I want some of my own some day. I'd like someone who could surprise me. Someone with a positive outlook on life.
I found that I loved words. And so I liked men who were eloquent, who were witty, and who were confident with their words. I also learned that I have a soft spot for flirts. No, not playboys. I despise guys who play with hearts, and I don't like little boys (and this has nothing to do with age). But men who are not afraid of giving you compliments, who are confident in the way they approach you, and who would do things to make you feel a little more special than the rest. Confidence is really attractive to me. I love it when men carry themselves well. I love it when they're sure of what they want. I love it when they're passionate about something. And I love it when they relentlessly pursue it.
Then I fell in love, and, other than the basics, the whole list just went out the window. Then my heart got broken, and I learned about what I really wanted and needed in a man.
I need them to be courageous. I need them to be persistent. I need them not to give up so easily because life will put you through things and I need someone who would be there with me to go through all the storms. I need a man who is happy. I need a man who has a positive outlook in life, who would be confident that together, we could take on anything. And with God, we would never fail. I need a man who would really love me, and not just "kinda like" me. Decisive. Knows what he wants. Generous, not just in resources, but also in time and words. That is the man I'm looking for.
I find myself lamenting the lack of men like these. I have a lot of male friends and acquaintances. And the statuses some of them post on their Facebook walls just sadden me. They are afraid. Their posts go like, "Don't expect promises to be kept. You'll only be disappointed." or "Don't care about her too much, you'll just end up hurt." My first guy even went as far as telling me, "Let's not celebrate monthly anniversaries. One of these days, one of us will just end up disappointing the other." Why are they so afraid? Granted, they've been hurt. But they are men! No, I'm not trying to put you down. On the contrary, I believe in your inherent strength. I apologize for what the womenfolk have done to some of you. Some of us truly are unfeeling. And some of us are really mean and immature. But some of us are probably just so in love with you and we don't know how to handle it. Whatever we put you through, I apologize profusely. But please, for your sake and the sake of the right woman for you, don't let the experience destroy you. Don't let the hurt consume you. Don't let bitterness take hold of your heart. Do not give up so easily. And don't let the pain make you afraid.
Ah, God! Show me that there are brave men in my generation still. My heart bleeds for the loss. Lord, You know clearly how much this grieves me.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Love Letter #6
Dear Lord,
Thank you for today, for the opportunity to bond with my new friends. There were obstacles this morning regarding our trip, but I know You have Your reasons. It may be so that we can spend time with each other. It may be to teach us temperance. Whatever Your reasons, Lord, thank You. I will accept the gift of Your given circumstance. Lord, I've been reading a lot about faith. I want to have faith. Help me overcome my unbelief. I know You do everything for a reason. And I submit myself to You and Your will. I love You, Lord. I want to love the way You love. Teach me. Lead me. May I live the way You wish me to live. Change my heart that I may see the way You wish me to see.
Yours always,
Your raven
Thank you for today, for the opportunity to bond with my new friends. There were obstacles this morning regarding our trip, but I know You have Your reasons. It may be so that we can spend time with each other. It may be to teach us temperance. Whatever Your reasons, Lord, thank You. I will accept the gift of Your given circumstance. Lord, I've been reading a lot about faith. I want to have faith. Help me overcome my unbelief. I know You do everything for a reason. And I submit myself to You and Your will. I love You, Lord. I want to love the way You love. Teach me. Lead me. May I live the way You wish me to live. Change my heart that I may see the way You wish me to see.
Yours always,
Your raven
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Disappointments
Lord, help me. My client, who was supposed to pay today, did not pay. I needed that payment for my people's salaries and 13th month pay. And now, I have to borrow money again. Thank you that my father will lend me. But it just makes me so angry that we worked so hard to meet the deadline the client asked of us. We worked so hard to provide them with excellence. And their reason for not paying us today is, they forgot! We called them up earlier this week to remind them. But it seems like they don't even care. It's like we give them excellence, but they don't do their job properly to process our payments. It makes me so angry, Lord. No, we weren't mean to them. Vengeance is Yours, Lord. But I'm just so angry. Why is it like this? Both for relationships and business. You give them your all, but they don't. They take you for granted. But you have no choice because you either love the guy or you need the account.
Calm my heart, Lord. Take away the feeling of disappointment and remind me that this is Your countship I am running, and not my own.
Calm my heart, Lord. Take away the feeling of disappointment and remind me that this is Your countship I am running, and not my own.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Strange Schools
I'm passionate about schools and learning. In fact, I've got several schools I'd like put up in the near future. But recently, I've come across some really strange schools. Some of them come off as offensive at first, but then if you think about it, some of them are actually practical. I do not endorse any of the schools. I'm just listing them down as something interesting to take note of. So, here they are. Enjoy.
1. Fu Kang Beauty and Hairdressing School
Ah, yes, but it only looks like an ordinary beauty school. What makes Fu Kang so different from the rest is that it runs its courses like a military school. Caught daydreaming in class? Drop and give me fifty push-ups! It may seem harsh, but I actually approve of it. Just because they're a beauty school doesn't mean they're just a beauty school. Like any profession, discipline helps make one excellent.
2. Beijing Moral Education Center for Women
This school claims to be able to teach their students how to snag a billionaire. I think it's basically a finishing school. And they claim that, in the past few months, they were able to successfully marry off around thirty of their graduates. At first glance, my reaction would be, "eh?" but if you think about it, these women have a goal. Why shouldn't they study for it? So, yey, Billionaire School.
3. The Austrian International School of Sex
Now, I have a lot of questions about this school. Alright, I'm not totally against the concept of learning to please one's spouse, but not in front of an audience! Are you supposed to do it in front of all your classmates? Or at the very least, does your teacher have to watch so she can give you a grade? And what about class exercises? Certainly gives a whole new meaning to, "class, find a partner for this exercise." Does this mean you have to have your "practical tests" with different people?
The idea of the school tickles my brain to some extent. And the fact that classes are to be held in an 18th Century Mansion adds to the appeal. But the thought of having to be viewed while you're being intimate with someone and the possibility of having to partner up with different people are not things I look forward to.
1. Fu Kang Beauty and Hairdressing School
Ah, yes, but it only looks like an ordinary beauty school. What makes Fu Kang so different from the rest is that it runs its courses like a military school. Caught daydreaming in class? Drop and give me fifty push-ups! It may seem harsh, but I actually approve of it. Just because they're a beauty school doesn't mean they're just a beauty school. Like any profession, discipline helps make one excellent.
2. Beijing Moral Education Center for Women
This school claims to be able to teach their students how to snag a billionaire. I think it's basically a finishing school. And they claim that, in the past few months, they were able to successfully marry off around thirty of their graduates. At first glance, my reaction would be, "eh?" but if you think about it, these women have a goal. Why shouldn't they study for it? So, yey, Billionaire School.
Now, I have a lot of questions about this school. Alright, I'm not totally against the concept of learning to please one's spouse, but not in front of an audience! Are you supposed to do it in front of all your classmates? Or at the very least, does your teacher have to watch so she can give you a grade? And what about class exercises? Certainly gives a whole new meaning to, "class, find a partner for this exercise." Does this mean you have to have your "practical tests" with different people?
The idea of the school tickles my brain to some extent. And the fact that classes are to be held in an 18th Century Mansion adds to the appeal. But the thought of having to be viewed while you're being intimate with someone and the possibility of having to partner up with different people are not things I look forward to.
My 2012 Goals
My 2012 Goals:
PERSON
To be more compassionate this year. To be a delight to my God, a respectful daughter, a sister worthy to be followed, a kind and compassionate friend, a good testimony, an awesome boss, a wise and responsible creator, thankful, passionate, beautiful, healthy, and loving.
WORK
To expand the company to a 12-member production team by the end of the year. To do the Starstruck Launch Party in the first quarter. To train my current team into S-class creators. To promote the company so that by the end of the year, people will know who we are.
To resuscitate Talecraft and maybe bring it into the digital arena. To hold four writers’ workshops this year, and celebrate Reading month and National Novel Writing Month.
To finish the Dreams Game before the end of the first quarter, rest for a few months, then go ahead and start two new ones with the old team and a new team before the year ends.
CREATIVE
To finish writing the first book in a series of young adult books targeted towards boys 9-12 years of age.
To go back to reading and writing romance.
TRAVEL
To go to Chicago for the RT Booklovers Convention in April.
To attend SIGGRAPH Asia in Singapore in December.
To travel abroad on Kingdom work.
To travel to a place by myself, take a solo vacation, and thoroughly enjoy myself.
STUDY
To take up my MBA this year.
To take up a class and study something completely new.
To learn to drive.
To learn to swim.
To learn to cook.
My 2012 Goals
My 2012 Goals:
PERSON
To be more compassionate this year. To be a delight to my God, a respectful daughter, a sister worthy to be followed, a kind and compassionate friend, a good testimony, an awesome boss, a wise and responsible creator, thankful, passionate, beautiful, healthy, and loving.
WORK
To expand the company to a 12-member production team by the end of the year. To do the Starstruck Launch Party in the first quarter. To train my current team into S-class creators. To promote the company so that by the end of the year, people will know who we are.
To resuscitate Talecraft and maybe bring it into the digital arena. To hold four writers’ workshops this year, and celebrate Reading month and National Novel Writing Month.
To finish the Dreams Game before the end of the first quarter, rest for a few months, then go ahead and start two new ones with the old team and a new team before the year ends.
CREATIVE
To finish writing the first book in a series of young adult books targeted towards boys 9-12 years of age.
To go back to reading and writing romance.
TRAVEL
To go to Chicago for the RT Booklovers Convention in April.
To attend SIGGRAPH Asia in Singapore in December.
To travel abroad on Kingdom work.
To travel to a place by myself, take a solo vacation, and thoroughly enjoy myself.
STUDY
To take up my MBA this year.
To take up a class and study something completely new.
To learn to drive.
To learn to swim.
To learn to cook.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)