Trials are a Joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. (James 1:2-6 NIV)

Dear God,

I've heard this before, but this is not an easy thing to do at all! Consider it pure joy that I face trials of many kinds? Lord! But I hear You, Dear God. I will let perseverance finish its work so that I may be mature and complete. I do ask You for wisdom, Lord. I am a fool. I am proud and I rely on my own powers. But this time, Lord, I am powerless. I have only You. Thank You for giving me a wonderful father. Please bless him for always helping me with my finances, even at the expense of his own finances. Lord, I don't want to be a burden to my family anymore. And Lord, while this is a trial, use it, Lord, to lead me into the right direction. If I am ready, Lord, let me create for You now. Open doors for us, Lord. I don't want to create for something I don't believe in anymore. Forgive me for my lack of faith. But I trust You, my God, that You will lead me to You. That these trials are nothing more than that: trials. And You will mold me into the kind of person You wish me to be.

How to Study the Bible

I took a workshop on how to study the Bible at our church, Victory Fort. and today, we talked about guidelines when studying. We talked about context and how we sometimes take some verses out of context. Here's one:

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:38 NIV)

We usually take this verse to talk about tithing and generosity. But if we look at the verse before that,

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Luke 6:37, 38 NIV)

We can see that this verse actually talks about forgiveness and not giving money. How apt when taken in context to my life right now. Lord, soften my heart. Teach it to forgive. I want to give forgiveness freely, just as You would have me.

Ah, Lord. I feel so at peace when studying Your Word. But I need to go back into the world. I need to go back to where the fire demon in my heart is strong, and I am weak against it. Be with me, my God. And help me forgive. Help me forgive.

Of Men Past

God, O, God,

My Protector, my Redeemer, my Lord. To You be glory and honor forever. You are the Creator of the world, the Author of my life. Nothing is hidden from You. You protect those who are Yours.

I am Yours, am I not? O Lord, why is the spirit of sadness coming over me? I met a man who is dear to me. He is a sweet sweet man. Very decent. Very kind. He was the first man I ever really went out with. And praise be to You, Lord, that my first man was a kind and decent one. But I was young then, and he was ready to settle down. And we drifted apart before we even officially became an item. He is married now to a nice girl, and I am very happy for him.

He gave me a book he had written. I had distanced myself from that world after my first boyfriend had broken my heart. The world of stories was a world of chivalry and true love to me. And when we broke up, I felt that that world turned out not to be true, and that true love was nothing but a wish that can never be found in the real world. Of course, circumstance has taught me that true love does exist but that what we think as true love is really not love but a feeling we associate with love. And that true love is not romantic. On the contrary, it is that thing that keeps us going even when the feeling is gone.

I read the book and I found I had missed this world, this world where anything can happen. Where people were chivalrous. Where love was true. And the thing about stories is you can get a glimpse of the heart of the writer from the text. And when he talked about an absence of a formal relationship with a particular girl, and tears threatening to burst when he saw the girl with another guy, I suddenly couldn't help but think if I had not hurt him back when we parted years ago.

He is still kind and decent now. I saw no bitterness in him when I met him again. We didn't hang out anymore. He was married now. It wouldn't be proper. And when we'd have lunch, he would make sure we had a third person with us.

I liked that. I appreciated that. It made me respect him more. It made me feel protected.

And it made me cry that after this man, what seemed to follow in my life was a series of broken guys.

I can't say I regret that I didn't pursue a relationship with this man. If I had back then, I would probably just hurt him. I was still selfish and self-centered back when I met him (I still am but I think it has been greatly turned down now). I can't say I regret falling in love with the broken and hurting guy who became my first boyfriend because that taught me a lot about men, relationships and myself. And it sent me crawling to my God. So I can't say I regret it. But I just felt sad.

Fight the Good Fight

We have just started an equipping series in church on how to study the Bible. And we studied 2 Timothy 4, and this is what I gathered from my studying:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
2 Timothy 4:7-8

I have fought the good fight
The good fight. The most basic of our fights. The battle between good and evil. The good fight of faith. We are in a battle, aren't we? We knew that. As children, we knew the most basic of our fights. But as we grew older, the situations become more complex. And our desires often grey out what we used to see as wrong.

I have finished the race
Life. We have hat rat races, running a business, running from hurts. We run life. But why call it a race? Why the competitive element to it? Urgency. That is why. We never really know how much more time we have. But this is a race and there is an urgency to do the things God has called us to do.

I have kept the faith
Faith can dwindle. Faith can drop. But the idea is to sustain the faith until the end.

The crown of righteousness
What is righteousness? It's basically fulfilling our end of the bargain in our relationship with God. And it doesn't say here that we will achieve righteousness. Rather, it will be crowned us. Do what needs to be done, and at the end of it, He will make us worthy.

Overall take-home
Press on. I may be faltering, and I may want to give up with all the failures I have as a Christian. But we have to press on. Do what needs to be done, and do it with a sense of urgency. And at the end of it all, God will make you worthy of the relationship with Him.

Turn to Me

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish." (Psalm 25:16, 17 NIV)

"Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, Lord, is in you." (Psalm 25:20, 21 NIV)

Lord, my God, turn to me. I am lonely and afflicted. Guard my life, Lord. I do not know what to do. I thought I had finally found someone I could consider. But new facts have given doubt. I'd like to pursue, but what is right, Lord? Will it displease You if I pursued this? Will I sin against You if I loved him? I do not wish to be too religious about this, either. What he really needs right now is love. Not the romantic kind. But the true one, which holds no record of wrong, which is patient and forgiving, and most importantly, which is Yours. But then I am being arrogant to think that I would be the one to bring that to him.

I do not wish to displease You, Lord. I do not wish to go against Your Word. But what is right in this situation? Is he condemned to solitude forever? Would my children and my children's children be cursed if I loved him? I am hurt and confused by the developments. But You, my God, are my Lord. Lead me. Instruct me in the way I should proceed. And guard me.

Downward Mobility

For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sakes He became poor, that you through His poverty might become rich. And in this I give advice: It is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have. For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have. For I do not mean that others should be eased and you burdened; but by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may supply their lack, that their abundance also may supply your lack—that there may be equality. As it is written, “He who gathered much had nothing left over, and he who gathered little had no lack.” 2 Corinthians 8:9-15 NKJV

True power is not when you come to a point where you find yourself up there with the affluent. It is when you find yourself able to go down to the needy.

Today is my presentation in Social Transformation. This is our devotional for the day. In context, Paul was referring to Christians giving money. But what God has impressed upon me is that the same applies for any good work that we do. When we start out, it is usually for good. We start out excited to give, or to be doing something that changes the world for the better. But more often than not, we get sidetracked or discouraged. We question if our giving actually does anything. We question if what we do actually has an impact. I had been losing steam these past few months. Changes in my life and relationships had shaken my convictions when it comes to my company. But God gave me the chance and excuse to do field work and observe how different organizations work. Social Transformation class has helped me pause and reflect on the things I have been doing for my company and the motives behind it. I wanted to stop and run away. Not because it was too difficult, but because I felt lost and I wasn't sure if it was worth continuing. At a certain point, I almost believed what some of our critics have told us: that creating games is nothing but play. Nothing but meaningless wasting of time. But my class and people I've met recently have made me pause and think of the original reason why I'm doing this in the first place. Wasn't it to tell our stories? Wasn't it to change the mindset of generations through games, comics and animation? Wasn't it to create a work environment where people didn't care about career opportunities, but creation. Wasn't that what we wanted to do? For us, creators, who cares about being director or senior producer? All we ever wanted was to create, to touch lives, to make people feel.

It allowed me to stop and look at where we were. We didn't start this to make brands popular. We didn't start this to make money. I didn't start this to let big organizations abuse my people. But what was I doing now?

I wanted to stop and do everything over again. But no, that's not the solution. The solution is to press on, as we always have, and slowly but surely get back on track. Many times, it really doesn't matter WHAT we choose to do, but more WHY we do it. We can make branded games. We can service ads. But I needed to remember that the point was to tell stories, stories that stir people, stories that compel people to change the world. And by stories, I don't mean the stories of the work that we do, but more what story we live by doing the work.

All of us have good work that we started. All of us have projects that we've chosen to support for the good they do. But for many of us, we've lost steam. We've been discouraged. We've questioned the effectivity and acceptability of our projects. But I think we sometimes need to be reminded, "you also must complete the doing of it." Keep the faith. Press on. And together, let us encourage each other that we may do the work our God has placed in our hearts.

Comfort Zones

Writhe in agony, Daughter Zion, like a woman in labor, for now you must leave the city to camp in the open field. You will go to Babylon; there you will be rescued. There the Lord will redeem you out of the hand of your enemies. (Micah 4:10 NIV)

I had a talk a few weeks ago where I was asked to recount how I put up my company and how I got it to where it was. And I realized how much I had to go out of my comfort zone just to make it work.

Sometimes, one needs to get out of one's city, one's comfortable place. And out there, out there, she will be rescued and redeemed by the Lord.