Losing One's Soul

Mark 8:36 NKJV

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?

Lord,

I may have lost a bit of mine. I don't like this life I've created. The one You gave me is wonderful, but I've tainted it with my ambition, fear, and lack of love. And because my family loves me, they suffer for my sake. I'm trying to get a job still. But I still have obligations. Please help me with them, Lord. Show me the way.

God's Arm is Long Enough

Numbers 11:23 NKJV

And the Lord said to Moses, “Has the Lord ’s arm been shortened? Now you shall see whether what I say will happen to you or not.”

Lord, my heart fails. I have made a mistake and I feel bad about the solutions. Ah, Lord, that You would grant me the resource to keep my word. But to keep my word means more burden on my father. Lord, what must I do? Speak to me, Lord. Tell me You are there. Tell me You haven't left me, and You have a plan for me. You are the God who saves. You are the God of abundance. You make miracles. You love those who love You. Doubt sometimes creeps in my heart. But I want to believe. I want to have faith and know that everything will be fine because You are my heavenly father.

Wait on Him

Whoever keeps the fig tree will eat its fruit; So he who waits on his master will be honored.
Proverbs 27:18 NKJV

Lord,

I know that this condition I am in is because of my need to succeed. I didn't think things through. I didn't do my research properly. And so now, I am in this state, and my family suffers with me. Forgive me, Lord. I want to get out of this. But I don't know how. I will wait on You. I don't know what to do with things, whether I should continue to push or let go. Speak to me, Lord. I am willing to give it up if you need me to. I've also applied at this school. I lift this up to you, Lord. Give it to me if You will it. But speak to me. I will check on my people and friends, as You said. I will know how they are. Speak to me, Lord. Continue to speak to me. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Fruits and Maturity

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."

Galatians 5:22-23

My friend posted a question on Facebook about what makes one a woman versus a girl. And another friend replied this very insightful comment about restraint and grace. Then when I turned to my daily devotional this morning, still with thoughts of the woman vs girl conversation in my head, this verse was what I found.

Follow Me

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”  “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”    Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”  He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”    The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”  Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.  Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”  Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

John 21:15-19

Jesus told Simon Peter three things he needed to do if he lived Jesus. This is how I understood them:

Feed my lambs - feed the children. As I was reading this, what impressed upon me was to feed their minds and hearts. Why would Jesus ask to feed the lambs first? Because the children are the ones who will take over, and if is important that they are fed proper things so they will grow up to build a future that is good.

Tend my sheep - be compassionate towards people. Take care of them. See to their needs.

Feed my sheep - again, this is to me, particularly. Feed the mins and hearts of the people. Teach them and give them hope.

Firm Steps

The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand. (Psalm 37:23, 24 NIV)

Lord,

Make firm my steps. Number one, I will rejoice. I will live sunny and thankful. Number two, I will curate my thoughts and my actions. I will keep holy my body for it is not mine. Number three, I will get my finances in order. I will pay off all debts this year. Number four, I will hold no rage or bitterness in my heart. I will keep my distance but I will not punish.

These are my resolutions. But make firm my steps, Lord. If I need to make myself rejoice scientifically, I will do, because You have commanded me and I want to be obedient. I repent of my actions. I decide, no more. I decide to follow You and be obedient to You. I will do what I can to consciously break out, but be with me, Lord. Make firm my steps.

Prayer

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:2-8 NIV)

Dear Lord,

I pray for wisdom. I pray for ease from my burdens. And I pray for direction. Where must I go? What do You want me to do? Deep down, I want to be involved in the molding of the youth. But is this really from You, or am I just trying to grasp at something. What have You promised me, Lord? Nothing specific on the work side. Speak to me, Lord. I pray for direction. Tell me where You want me to go. Tell me what You want me to strive for. But I know I need to be obedient to You and rejoice and be glad and be thankful. I thank You, Lord, for women friends. Thank You for the many opportunities that has come up. I pray for direction and healing for M and A.

I come to You, Lord, for wisdom and direction. I know that You have plans for me. You told me to work for You are with me, therefore, I will work and do what needs to be done. I will find app and website projects. I will teach and give talks. I will do everything I can to make money, get out of debt, and get to a point where I am financially stable. I will curb my spending. And I will be conscentious of what I purchase. And I will limit my going out. And I will be obedient to You and be thankful and rejoice. And I know along the way, You will show me where You want me to go. Along the way, You will allow me to meet who You want me to meet. I will not hold any bitterness against A. I will proceed, Lord, knowing that You are with me, knowing that You will give me wisdom to know what to do, and a clear direction to know where to go. For now, I will proceed.

I pray for strength and resolve. This I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.