One thing I've been guilty of is seeing my problems as bigger than my King. Being in the situation, it's so difficult to remember that it was my God, my Lord who had created everything. Everything. Not just the Earth and all its contents. But also the measurements and the mathematics of it. And if a problem goes my way, it's so hard to remember that, since God created all these elements that make up the problem, then the total sum of those elements are less than the power of Him who created them. It's so logical, and yet my treacherous heart finds it difficult to believe sometimes.
Lord, my King, I still have a problem with payroll. It's 5pm, and still no payment in sight. But I know that it is nothing compared to what You can do. I've seen Your Hand before. You are a great God. If You will it, my Lord, please send me a miracle. Payroll problem, my God is greater than you. My King is rich and generous, and loves a good story. And He may not come early, but He will never be late. He will come on time, to defeat you, and save me and my people. You are a dragon that seeks to devour my joy, to make me anxious and cause me to sin, but my God has spoken. I will not be anxious about anything, for my King will give me peace of mind, and defeat you.
My King, I thank You for always being there for me, for this little raven, this little scavenger who hasn't quite learned all the ropes of running a countship yet. But I thank You for trusting in me to be able to do this. I thank You for being patient with me. I will learn from You, my King, and the dragon of financial imbalance will no longer return to plague me and the people You have entrusted to me.
You, my King, are also bigger than the dragon that devours my heart. I am small. And down here, I cannot see everything that is happening. Out here, I cannot see what is within the hearts of others. But You, my God, are bigger than the dragon that seeks only to make me weep. You, my Lord, are more powerful than the beast that seeks only to break my heart. My heart breaks only because I couldn't trust You. The solution is really quite simple. It is really just to trust You with all my heart. My King, know my desire. I desire to have absolute faith in You. Complete trust in You. There are things that the countess doesn't know. And it bothers her to no end when she doesn't know the answers to those questions. But she is not all-knowing. I am not God.
Hear me, my King. Still my raging heart. I bow down to You. Here is my heart. Take it. I will accept the things I don't know. I will not jump to conclusions. The darkness was attempting to swallow me again. And when the countess surfaces, her tongue is like a whip, hurting the people closest to her. Forgive us, my Lord. This is not what we want to be. My King, please, I haven't wanted anything for a while. If I have found favor in Your eyes, despite my shortcomings and errors, will you give me the fruit of the Spirit? Will You give me love, joy, peace, and complete and absolute faith in You? That is what I ask for, my King.
How I want to please You, my King. I want to be completely and absolutely Yours.
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